


The Best Shades Of Life

by captainkippen



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: 1990s, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, I accidentally deleted this fic, NaNoWriMo 2020, Neighbors, always double check which delete button you're hitting kids!, and had to reupload the first 8 chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 43,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainkippen/pseuds/captainkippen
Summary: It’s 1995. Julie needs a project partner and Luke needs to get his mom off his back. He figures they can help one another out.Written forNaNoWrimo 2020.
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, background Alex/Willie
Comments: 179
Kudos: 625





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Did I accidentally delete this entire fic while updating it? Yes. Are we going to talk about it? Absolutely not.

All was quiet in the suburbs. Over the horizon, the sun had begun its ascent into the hazy blue above and the birds had awoken with a cheerful dawn chorus. Few cars had yet hit the road, all waiting for the perfect moment to roar to life and join the endless lines of traffic through the city. It was the closest thing to bliss you could find in Los Angeles. The world was at peace.

**_BANG._ **

“I’ll kill you, I swear!”

And just like that, the peace was shattered.

Luke Patterson was caught between laughing and groaning in pain as he lost his footing on the trellis. He tumbled down the last few feet to the ground, rolling over and pushing himself upright as the sounds of feet stomping down the stairs inside grew closer and the front door was thrown open. It had been a hasty exit on his part, resulting in one shoe left behind and his shirt on backwards. Fortunately, he’d had the hindsight to lean his bike up against a nearby tree when he’d arrived in the early hours of the morning. He hopped on it, speeding away with a wide grin on his face to the echoing sounds of an angry father cussing him out, euphoric over his successful escape.

Julie Molina woke in a much less chaotic fashion. She was not disturbed by a bedroom door banging open or an angry shout, nor did she find herself clambering out a window. Instead, she made a noise of distaste into her pillow as the trilling sounds of her alarm filled the room and spent a few moments haphazardly waving one blind hand around until she had found and successfully beaten it into silence once more.

It took two snoozes and a bargain with God for her to wrench her sleep-crusted eyes open at last. The rest of the house had already come to life, the sound of the radio drifting up from the kitchen and her little brother’s tone-deaf rendition of _Whatta Man_ dampened only by a wall and the rush of the shower running. She slid out of bed with a reluctant sigh, shivering as the warm comfort of her blankets disappeared, forcing herself to pull open the blinds and let the daylight in. If she was late then Flynn, her best friend, would honk her car horn all through breakfast until Julie appeared in the door. Last time it had resulted in a noise complaint from across the street.

Her neighbour’s window, which was positioned a mere ten feet away and looked directly into her own, obscured only a little by the tree which sat between the two hours, was being held open by a thick textbook with the blinds pulled away. She paused, frowning.

Any second now. She waited for a moment and then came the sounds of heavy pedalling from down the street. Luke rode into view in his usual careless fashion, no helmet, no sleeves, and… only one shoe? God, what a weirdo. 

She watched as he dumped his bike by the fence and crept around to the tree. His hair was a mess and he looked like he’d had less sleep than a zombie. He climbed with practised ease. The branches rustled noisily, sending a cascade of orange and yellow leaves falling to the ground, and Julie leaned forward to rest an elbow on the window ledge with an amused huff.

“Rough night?” she asked as Luke reached eye level. 

He shrugged, unsurprised to see her. “The usual. Fight with a bear, abducted by aliens, a dinner date with Dolly Parton. Y’know how it goes.”

 _Such_ a weirdo. She bit back a smile. 

“So what happened this time, did you wake up in a police cell again?”

“Haha,” he said dryly. “That was one time. And they let us off with a warning.”

“They probably just realised how annoying you are,” she teased.

“At least I have enough of a life to actually annoy policemen,” he shot back with a sweet smile, edging along the branch and reaching for his window ledge.

“I don’t think that was as much of a flex you think it was.”

“Whatever. Nerd.”

“Loser.”

Luke laughed. Julie stuck her tongue out.

Down below, there was the familiar rattle of a front door chain. They both startled, looking around. At the front of the Patterson’s house, Luke’s mother – Emily – had bustled down the yard to bring in the garbage cans. There was a pause, Luke shot a pleading look at Julie, and she gave him a menacing grin.

“Don’t you dare,” he hissed.

“Good morning, Mrs Patterson!” she called, stretching out of the window to wave. 

As Mrs Patterson looked around, Luke let his feet slide from the tree and flattened himself against the house, still hanging on to the window ledge by the tips of his fingers. He had managed it just in time. From where his mother was stood, he was just out of view.

“Good morning, Julie!” Emily beamed, waving back as she returned to the house. 

“You’re evil,” Luke grunted, scrabbling his feet against the wall and pulling himself up into his own bedroom.

She laughed and shut the window.

Despite the new tear in his jeans from scaling the wall, Luke couldn’t help but smile at Julie’s laugh. They’d lived next door to one another for five years now and she’d watched him slip in and out of his window more times than he could count. It was a miracle his mother hadn’t caught him yet. That was how he knew, regardless of her jokes, that she wasn’t about to rat him out.

“Luke!” came his mother’s voice from the hall as she rapped gently on the door. “Time to get up. You don’t want to be late for school... again!”

“I’m up!” he shouted back, spraying some deodorant under his arms and sniff-testing the shirt he was wearing. It smelled fine, no trace of the venue they’d played the night before left since Ashley had let him sneak into the shower at her place (God, he was lucky to have a friend like her). He’d stick with it – there wasn’t really enough time to shower when he had to take his bike to school. Especially if he made stops along the way to meet his friends. 

He clattered downstairs to the kitchen to find his dad at the counter reading the paper and his mom busying herself with something in the refrigerator. She’d laid out breakfast for him – a jug of orange juice and a collection of powdered buns piled up on a plate instead of the usual toast.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Pan de Mallorca,” she said, closing the fridge and turning to smile sleepily at him. “Rose from next door sent them over for us when she heard about your father putting his back out, isn’t that sweet?”

Luke was already halfway through cramming a roll into his mouth, eye on the clock. He could stop by the record store on the way to school and only just miss homeroom if he pedalled fast. 

“What? Oh, yeah. Real sweet. Tell her thanks for me,” he said, darting forward to kiss his mom’s cheek and heading for the door. “See you later!” 

“Be good!” she called after him anxiously. “And don’t be late for school!” 

But Luke didn’t hear. He had already grabbed his walkman, put on his headphones and clicked play on the mixed CD that his bandmate, Reggie, had made for his birthday. _Basket Case_ blared to life and, with the spirit-lifting sounds of Green Day playing in his ears, he began his bike ride towards the hell they called school. 

Julie made it outside before Flynn could lean on the horn of her red convertible, her stomach comfortably full with her mom’s cooking and her schoolbag almost exploding from the sheer amount of notebooks she’d crammed in there. It was her music class’s fault – nothing else she studied required nearly as much paper. She had more composition notes than she did Carrie and Kayla were already in the car.

“Mm that Luke Patterson is F-I-N-E _foine_ ,” Flynn stated with a low whistle, peering over her sunglasses as Julie slid into the back.

“Boys like that should be illegal,” Carrie agreed from the passenger seat, turning to look at Julie. “How do you cope?”

They had been watching an oblivious Luke as he’d cycled down the street. There was no way he’d be on time for school if he was leaving at the same time as them, Julie thought with fond irritation, even if the girls did stop at Dunkin’ first. He was wearing the same shirt he’d shown up in this morning – there was a grass stain down the side – she wrinkled her nose. 

“I don’t need to cope. I’m pretty sure he didn’t even shower today,” she said, before adding sarcastically, “And good morning to you too, guys. I’m great, thanks for asking.”

“Morning, Jules,” Kayla beamed, leaning over to give her a quick squeeze in greeting. Unlike the others, she paid no mind to Luke’s retreating figure. “Ignore them, they’re just being thirsty.”

“The not showering thing doesn’t put me off as much as it should,” Carrie admitted airily and rolled her eyes fondly at Julie. “Anyway, good morning. You look fly as hell today. Can I steal your lipgloss? _Someone_ stole all mine.”

She eyed Flynn accusingly. Flynn pretended not to hear.

Julie handed her bag over to let Carrie rummage through her emergency supply, returning the eye roll as she did, and leaned back to revel in the breeze as Flynn started the car. Thank God for California, she thought. She couldn’t handle living somewhere cold.

“Why are you thirsting over Luke anyway? I thought you were into that girl, what’s her name?” she asked. “The cheerleader?”

“Tasha,” Carrie said. “And just because I’m into someone doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the local eye-candy.”

She and Flynn bumped fists over this, ignoring Julie when she rolled her eyes. 

"Sure he's cute and all," she agreed because it was true. Luke did have an objectively nice face. "But I just don't get what the big deal is."

A lot of girls in their grade seemed to be crushing on Luke. Ever since he’d hit senior year and his band had started playing local shows, there had been an upsurge of interest in him. It annoyed Julie to no end, especially since most of the girls assumed the fact that she was his neighbour meant she could find out if he was interested in them. 

"I don’t get it either," Kayla shrugged. “He’s the same flavour of white boy as most of the guys in our grade.”

"See? Thank you, Kayla."

Flynn just shook her head, tutting.

"She's only saying that because she's got a crush on Reggie."

"What?! I do not!" Kayla squeaked, cheeks reddening. "...but you know, he totally winked at me that other day at their show."

“You know Reggie’s a white boy too,” Julie teased.

Kayla looked away, mumbling something about ‘different flavours’, and the girls laughed. 

“You all set for today, anyway, Jules?” Flynn asked. 

“Yeah, I’m meeting with Nick at lunch for more practice,” she replied. “I really think we’re going to nail this piece. Mrs Harrison won’t know what hit her.”

“Ooh, Nick,” Carrie said, winking at her. “He’s pretty fine too, but you already knew that.”

It was Julie’s turn to blush. Nick was her project partner for their duet composition work in advanced music. Before they’d paired up, Julie had had a pretty epic crush on him. He _was_ cute. She’d thought it would be hard to work with him on account of the way she became a stuttering mess whenever he spoke to her, but then they’d gotten to know one another and slowly her feelings had evolved from a crush to real friendship. Besides, it was hard to get distracted when your high school musical career hung in the balance. Getting a good grade on this project was integral to staying in the programme, and they needed to put in as much work as they could. In her opinion, she’d lucked out. Nick was the best guitar player in their grade.

“And you’re the best pianist,” the girls liked to remind her when she pointed this out, but she would just shrug that off.

Today would be the first day that they showcased their project to their teacher, Mrs Harrison, so she could offer them feedback on any alterations they needed to make. Mrs Harrison had been a pillar of support for the past couple of years with Julie’s music and she really wanted to impress her. 

“You’ll be great,” Flynn reassured her as they pulled up in the parking lot. “You’ve been working on this for weeks. Plus, you’re like a total composition genius. What could _possibly_ go wrong?”

What indeed? As it turned out, a lot more than any of them thought. 

“So Ashley called me this morning,” Alex greeted Luke as he slipped into the hall. “You know, to check you were still alive.”

Luke had arrived at school just as the bell rang to signal the end of homeroom. Whoops. He’d slipped up the stairs and in through the entrance without being seen, grateful to find Alex waiting by his locker with a Red Bull in hand. Oh well, it wasn’t like he’d missed much. Coach Barron never took roll call anyway – he usually took a morning nap at his desk before first period. Besides, Luke had unearthed like three different hidden gems at the record store. Skipping was totally worth it. 

“Yeah,” he grimaced, taking the drink and gulping it down. “Dude, I thought her dad was gonna explode when he found me in her room.”

“Were you even on her bed?”

Luke snorted. “No way. She got me a sleeping bag ‘specially.”

Ashley was one of the many friends Luke and the guys had made when they started getting more involved with the local rock scene. She worked at one of the clubs downtown, selling merch for the performers and getting drinks. It had been thanks to her that they’d booked their last three gigs. It had also been thanks to her that Luke hadn’t had to risk waking his own parents up by making a racket climbing back in his bedroom window in the middle of the night – she was always happy to sneak him into her house and let him crash on the floor.

He was feeling pretty pleased with himself if he was honest. It had been a good morning, near-death experience by window ledge aside, and now he had an energy drink he could feel his mood picking up. A song had been forming at the back of his mind since the evening before. His fingers itched for his guitar. 

“We still on for band practice tonight?” he asked.

Alex nodded. “Reggie says we can use his place. His parents are taking a weekend away to try and ‘reconnect’.”

They shared a look of disbelief. As long as Luke had known them, Reggie’s parents’ relationship had been a strained one. The only good thing about it was that it meant a lot of sleepovers when Reggie didn’t feel like going home. Why they didn’t just get divorced and stop making their family life so miserable was beyond him. 

“Also Bobby says he got the number for that guy,” Alex continued. “Y’know the one with the studio in his basement?”

Excellent. Their band, Sunset Curve, had been gaining momentum for a while now. It had taken them some time to build up the connections to get where they wanted, but the more shows they played the easier it got. If things went the way they hoped, they’d be able to call the guy and get him to help them produce a demo. Maybe then they could start spreading their music to more than just shitty bars. Maybe then Luke’s parents would start taking his music seriously.

“Ah, Mr Patterson,” came a voice from behind them.

Alex’s face dropped. Despite the sinking feeling of dread, Luke wheeled around with a wide smile plastered on his face.

“What’s up, Mr Covington?”

The teacher loomed over them like a cat with a cornered mouse. Covington and Luke had an ongoing war that involved many detentions and Luke buying eggs for nefarious reasons when it got particularly annoying. He wished he could say he didn’t know why Covington had it out for him, but he was well aware of the reason. Every year he was encouraged to join swing band, run by Covington, and every year he’d determinedly said no. Swing just wasn’t his style. Covington didn’t seem to agree. 

“I couldn’t help but notice you were missing from homeroom this morning,” Covington said. “I presume you have a good reason for not attending?”

Luke’s eyes narrowed. Alex shook his head minutely, a warning, but he ignored him.

“How would you know if I wasn’t in homeroom?” he asked.

Covington’s lip curled.

“Because, as you might’ve known had you an ounce of punctuality, Coach Barron is out sick today and I was given the glorious task overtaking on his roll call.”

Think fast, Luke.

“I overslept?” he offered.

That’s too fast, Luke.

Covington’s smile sharpened, unpleasant and vulture-like.

“This is the sixth time you’ve missed homeroom in the last two months, is it not, Mr Patterson?” 

“Not if you count the time there was a fire drill. I was outside just like everybody else.”

Alex sighed. Covington’s white teeth glittered under the fluorescent lights. 

“Principal’s office, Mr Patterson.”

Luke sighed too. Accepting his fate he hiked his bag up onto his shoulder and shot Alex a baleful look as he was marched down the hall. The principal’s office before classes had even started. Oh man, he was in so much trouble. His mom was going to kill him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops

The problem with disasters is that they cropped up when they were least wanted. In keeping with the usual spirit of chaos, disaster struck before Julie had even made it to the music room that day. 

She was standing at the lockers with Flynn and Carrie, wrestling her books into the last small space they could fit and wishing she didn’t take so many notes during class when they were approached by one of the boys from the lacrosse team. Tyler was tall and tan with a wide goofy smile that endeared almost everybody to him. He was also best friends with Nick. The girls smiled when he stopped at them, but their expressions quickly turned to concern when they saw the look on his face.

“Oh hey, Tyler,” Julie said. “What’s up?”

“I got some bad news,” he said. “Nick’s in the hospital.”

“What?!” Carrie gasped.

“Is he okay?” Flynn and Julie asked at once.

“Well… he says he’s fine,” Tyler said, but the way he gnawed on his lip uncertainly was less than reassuring. “He’s conscious and shit. He got checked pretty hard in practice and went down on his arm? I don’t know. It didn’t look good. We heard something pop.”

“Oh God,” said the girls in horror. 

“Yeah,” Tyler continued. “He just told me to tell you he’s sorry for bailing on class and can you tell Mrs Harrison what happened? Maybe rearrange that performance you guys were gonna do for her? He said he’s pretty sure it’s just a sprain so he’ll be back in no time.”

“Oh no, of course,” Julie rushed to reassure him. “It’s not like he got hurt on purpose. Are you gonna see him later?”

He waved a handful of crumpled papers with a sheepish smile.

“I’m dropping by his house so he can borrow my notes.”

“Rad. Let him know it’s all good, yeah? And tell him I hope he’s okay?”

“I’ll let him know.”

“Thanks, Tyler,” she smiled.

“Anytime.”

They watched him head back down the corridor as the second bell rang. Julie waited until he was out of sight to rest her head against the cool surface of the lockers and groan in dramatic despair. 

“Poor Nick,” she said. “Oh man, what are we gonna do? I can’t perform without him.”

“Hey, chill out. You heard Ty, Nick said it’s probably just a sprain,” Flynn assured her, patting her on the back. “Mrs Harrison will understand. He’ll be back in no time. Besides, you’ve got weeks ‘til the final showcase anyway. It’ll be fine.”

“You’d better hope it’s just a sprain,” Carrie said. “'cause I’ve seen the way those boys play and it’s not gentle. Last year Randy Klein broke an ankle in a game.”

Flynn thumped her. Julie ignored the ensuing wrestling match as they walked to class, internally praying to God that this week wasn’t going the way she thought it could be.

“How many _times?!”_

It was possible that Luke’s earlier assumption of just how much trouble he would be in for skipping was a little off. The principal’s office he could deal with. Detention he could deal with. A written warning? Yet again, he could deal with it.

But apparently, Principal Eisner had realised that too. He had also, at the urging of Covington and his slimy smile, concluded that the only way to get through to Luke about the importance of punctuality and not ‘frittering away his education’ was to call his mother. And threaten _suspension_.

He was truly in the shit now.

“How many times!” his mother continued, furious radiating from her even as her eyes remained fixed on the road. “I don’t know what to do with you anymore, Luke. I really don’t.”

They’d sent Luke home after the meeting, a move which he thought was pretty hypocritical after they’d spent all morning lecturing him about the importance of keeping up his grades and working hard in his classes. Not that he was missing much – he would’ve slept through World History and debate anyway, but still. 

“It’s not a big deal, ma.”

Few things put the fear of God into him like his mother did when she was angry. He shrank back, realising his mistake at once when she turned to look at him. 

“Not a big– this is your _future_ we’re talking about _,_ Luke! How are you going to get into a good college when you’re failing your most important classes?”

He wasn’t, was the truthful answer. This didn’t bother him. Luke had no intention of attending college, no matter how many brochures his parents left lying around the house or how many applications his mom ordered for him. What was the point of spending another four years going to classes he had no interest in, pretending to prepare for a life that he didn’t want? God, he thought. If he ended up in some boring office job wearing a suit and tie, making copies and sending faxes, then he might just as well die of boredom right now. No way. Not him. If his future didn’t involve playing music then it wasn’t a future he wanted. He was going to be a legend, just like Jimmy Page and James Hatfield. _Sunset Curve_ was going to be huge, he just knew it. His mom would have to see that eventually.

“What’s the point?” he muttered. “It’s not like anybody cares if I’m there anyway.”

“Oh for– you know what? I’ve had enough of this attitude, young man. You have got to start taking your life seriously. It’s time to grow up.”

“Mom, I’m not–”

“No excuses. You’re grounded.”

“ _Mom.”_

“And no more guitar.”

“What?!”

“You heard me. No more guitar, no more band practice, no more _music_ until you can get your act together. I’m tired of you treating everything like a joke.”

“But–”

“No buts! Your education comes first – that’s what we agreed when we bought you the guitar in the first place. It’s time for you to honour that. You’re failing three different classes. Principal Eisner says you might not graduate at this rate.”

Graduate-schmaduate, Luke thought. He didn’t need a diploma where he was going. This was so unfair.

“From now on you’re to go straight to and from school, no detours. Weekends are for studying. And no TV until you can prove all your homework is done.”

“Are you serious?” he whined.

“I won’t have you ruin your chances at having a future,” she said fiercely. 

It was fortunate for Julie that Mrs Harrison was a pretty understanding teacher. The news of Nick’s accident had already reached her through the teacher’s lounge and she assured Julie that they should wait to hear how Nick’s arm was doing before anything with her project, allowing her to sit down and play through her opening to the song instead of the whole thing. 

“It’s sounding good so far,” said Mrs Harrison. “I can’t wait to hear the whole duet. I just know you’ll blow us all away. You’re one of my best students.”

Julie had smiled and nodded, but couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in her chest. It was one of those creeping hunches that things were about to fall apart, setting off alarm bells in her head. She was still thinking about it when Flynn dropped her home, her mind wandering far and wide into worrying places.

As she dropped her bag in the hall, the sweet scent of freshly baked brownies hit her. The worry eased, just for a moment, as she took a deep breath in. Her mom had taken to baking a lot these days, almost like she was making up for all the time she lost over the past year while she’d been in and out of the hospital, not that anybody was complaining. Julie was pretty sure the whole family revelling in the constant supply of desserts. 

“Mija,” she smiled when Julie trudged into the kitchen.

She put down her rolling pin, wiped her hands down her floral apron and pulled Julie into her arms. It was still strange to see the vibrant scarf wrapped around her head where her enviable curls had used to flow, but short brown fuzz was beginning to poke from under the edges now and Julie smiled at the sight. 

“How was today?” her mom asked, running a hand down Julie’s own curls.

Julie wrapped her arms around her and squeezed. Nobody else could fill a hug with all the comfort that her mom could. She would never be able to get enough of it. 

“Pretty good,” she said, once she was released, and wound her way around the counter to admire the steaming pile of chocolate cooling there. “I had the reschedule my progress performance for Mrs Harrison though.”

“How come?”

“Nick got hurt during lacrosse practice.”

“Oh no! Is he alright?”

“I don’t know,” Julie bit her lip. “His friends said he’s fine, but he had to go to the hospital to get checked out. He might’ve hurt his arm.”

A little bit of guilt pulled at her insides every time she hoped that Nick was alright. Not because she didn’t want him to be okay, obviously she did, but she felt selfish for wanting him to be able to _perform._

“Hm, we should make him something,” her mom decided. “What do you think?”

“I mean… he does love your temblque.”

Half the time when Nick came over to practice was spent in the kitchen munching on the endless stream of snacks left out for them. Her mom adored him, always talking about how he was so polite and what a hard worker he was, and he loved to ask her for stories from her days touring the punk scene. Once Julie had made the mistake of letting slip that Nick didn’t have a girlfriend and her mom spent two long weeks hinting at her to go for it. She’d had to pretend that Carrie had a crush on him just to get her to stop.

Julie beamed as her mom clapped her hands together, announcing she would whip something up tomorrow, and sneaked a brownie from the plate before turning to head up to her room. If she got her homework out of the way in time she might be able to grab the television remote before Carlos and catch the newest episode of _Friends._

“Oh! Honey, do me a favour before you go upstairs… could you take these over to the Pattersons? Poor Emily looked like she was having a rough day when I saw her earlier.”

She slid a large box of the brownies across the table and Julie took it with a quiet sigh. It wasn’t that she minded going over to the Patterson’s place, they were lovely people and she loved going over there for barbecues in the summer, but Mrs Patterson could talk for _centuries_ if you let her. She just really wanted to put her pyjamas on and chill. 

“Your mother is such a kind woman,” Mrs Patterson said, ushering Julie indoors. “Always taking care of everybody else.”

The Pattersons’ kitchen was small and cluttered but in the kind of way that made it feel comfortable rather than messy. Ever since she was small, Julie had loved the yellow-washed cabinets and hardwood floors. It was the type of kitchen she’d like to have when she was older. 

“Can I get you a drink, sweetheart? Oh, you know I’ve got another one of your mom’s baking tins here, let me grab that for you to take back...”

“No, I’m alright thank you,” Julie said, taking the tin with an appreciative smile. “I’ve actually got to–”

Socked feet padding down carpeted stairs sounded out in the hall and they both looked up to see Luke enter. Dark bags had formed under his eyes and stubble cast a sharp shadow over his jawline. An involuntary frown creased at Julie’s brow as she found herself wondering if he was okay.

“Julie,” he greeted with a nod.

He cast a wary eye at his mother, who had busied herself with organising the brownies and seemed to be deliberately avoiding looking his way. An immediate tension had filled the room. Feeling awkward, Julie nodded back.

“Luke. How’s it going?”

He shrugged. His usual cheerful swagger was missing. Julie wondered what had gone down this time – Luke and his mom had been fighting a lot lately. For a little while, it had been the focus of neighbourhood gossip. 

“Are those your mom’s brownies?” he asked hopefully, peering at the box in his mother’s hands. She looked up finally, expression stormy.

Ah, Julie thought. It was time to make a tactical retreat.

“I’ve got to go,” she said, heading for the door. “But it was nice to see you both.”

As she fled, she closed the door just in time to hear the beginnings of raised voices filling the house. Rest in peace, Luke, she thought with a wince. She wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of a warpath like that.

“So how screwed are you?” Alex’s voice came tinny and muffled through the receiver.

Luke had waited until school was out and the sky had begun to grow dark before opening his window and slipping out. Time was short, he knew he was pushing his luck, but he felt he owed it to the guys to let them know why he was bailing on band practice. The old payphone smell of urine and stale beer. A couple of empty cans clanked into the glass of the booth when he shuffled his feet.

“Pretty sure I’m lucky not to be six feet under right now,” he replied. “Mom’s totally buggin’. I’m grounded.”

“How long for?”

“The next fifty years, at least. She took my guitar.”

Alex let out a low whistle which crackled through the phone.

“Damn, dude.”

“It’s whatever,” he sighed. “I’ll figure something out. She can’t stay mad at me forever.”

“Hm. Well, don’t push it too hard. If you play it cool for a little bit maybe she’ll change her mind.”

“Doubt it. Tell the guys I’m sorry, okay? I’ll try to be there next practice.”

“Sure thing. Look, just don’t make it worse for yourself. It’s not worth fighting with your mom about. Be good.”

“Okay, _dad_ ,” Luke grinned.

“Fuck you,” Alex huffed, laughing as Luke hung up.

Being grounded was the most boring thing in the world. Luke had taken one look at his calculus homework and given up, flopping backwards on to his bed to stare blankly at the ceiling. He missed his guitar. He missed his bandmates. This _sucked._

Across the yard a light flicked on next door, throwing orange rays across his darkening bedroom ceiling, and Luke turned his head to peer outside. Julie appeared in her window. He watched as she pulled off her sweater, flinging it into a chair in the corner, and grabbed a magazine from her makeup table. Flicking it open, she read as she walked over to hit play on her stereo. An envious sigh slipped from his lips. He wished _he_ still had his stereo. A little wrinkle of concentration formed between Julie’s brow as she sprawled across her own bed. It was cute – he half wanted to wave to her, remind her to put on the glasses that lay abandoned on her nightstand, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. 

Julie was a sweet girl. It had been a little bit of a bummer that she hadn’t stuck around in the house a little longer. He’d only come downstairs because he heard her voice and assumed his mom would be a better mood because of it. Julie was a fun person to talk to. The kind of person his mom approved of – a classic good girl archetype. She didn’t skip school or forget to do her chores or pick fights about going to college. Luke wondered how she managed it. It mystified him because he knew for a _fact_ that she was a dreamer too. He’d heard her sing, once, and it had shaken him to the core. The love she held for music was as obvious as his own, and yet she didn’t seem to struggle to balance everything else too. He’d bet anything his mom wished she was her kid instead of him. God, Julie probably never got grounded. Her parents were nothing but proud when he heard them talk about her. He bet if he hung out with her instead of the guys then his mom wouldn’t be half as mad as she was right now. In fact, she would probably encourage it.

He sat up suddenly, brain whirring as a lightbulb clicked on in his mind. After his phone call with Alex, he had spent a little while thinking over any possible way to get his mom to calm down about the whole grounding situation. Nothing had seemed right. But now… right now, looking at the way her bedroom light haloed around her silhouette, Luke realised he wasn’t as out of options as he thought. What Luke needed, according to his mom at least, was to grow up. To start taking things more seriously. To be around people who offered a more ‘positive influence’ than punks with rips in their jeans and metal in their noses. 

He needed someone like Julie.

Luke’s mom _loved_ Julie. Julie took things seriously. Julie was the kind of person you’d bring home to meet your parents and they’d fawn over her. She was what his mom would call a ‘positive influence’. 

A devious plan began to unwind in his head. The key to freedom dangled just out of reach. If he was smart about it, then being grounded would no longer be a problem. He could get his guitar back. No more missed band practices, and right back on track to his future place in the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame. 

He gazed over at Julie, watching as she flicked through the pages. Now, if only he could just get her to agree… 


	3. Chapter 3

Breakfast the next morning, as it always was when Willie dropped by, was a chaotic affair. Willie was fresh out of high school. He’d played babysitter for Carlos the last few years until leaving for his first year of college. Three months in and he’d realised he would much rather be back in Hollywood with his skatepark buddies and spray paints, then turned around and come right back. According to him, his parents had just sighed and accepted it – they had been surprised he considered leaving at all. And if Julie was pleased to have him back, her smile was nothing compared to Carlos’ joy.

“Willie!” he yelled, throwing himself across the room as the boy in question appeared in the doorway.

Julie’s mom smiled from where she lingered by the stove, waving at him with a spatula, and her dad wandered in, hair still damp from the shower, grinning from ear to ear. Mornings like this were the best kind, Julie thought, it always felt like an adventure was about to happen when they were all together. Willie felt like a second brother at this point.

“Hey, lil man!” Willie beamed, running through the complicated ‘secret’ handshake two of them had been perfecting for the last three years. “Hey, Jules!”

He moved over to give her a tight squeeze, laughing when she squawked indignantly as he ruffled her hair, and sat down across the table. Her dad grabbed him a plate immediately, sliding the eggs over and joining in the feast. Soon they were all gathered around the table listening to Carlos babble about his upcoming ball game and interrogating Willie about life after graduation.

“How’s work at the centre going?” Rose asked, piling more bacon onto Willie’s plate when she thought he wasn’t looking.

“Pretty rad!” he enthused. “They’ve got me working on three pieces – one of them is with this girl who has this whole like weird cool edgy vibe going. It’s gonna look crazy.”

Upon his return, Willie had come straight to the Molinas. Between Ray’s connections from the video world and Rose’s friends on the art scene, Julie’s parents were the ideal people to go to when you wanted to get involved in something creative. As it happened, her mom had known of an art project happening at the local community centre where they were paying local artists to brighten up the building with painted murals. Willie had jumped at the chance to showcase his talent.

“When can we come see?” Julie asked.

He shrugged. “There’s supposed to be some big unveiling when we’re all finished, but I don’t know when.”

“Let us know when you do,” her mom said warmly. “We’d all like to come if we can.”

“We’ll be the embarrassingly proud parents in the crowd cheering for you,” her dad joked. 

They probably would cheer though. Last time Julie played a recital, her mom had whistled in support. 

“Okay, I gotta get ready for school,” Julie sighed, dropping her plate in the sink. “Catch you later, Willie.”

“See you at Carlos’ game this weekend,” he saluted her. “Adios.”

She headed upstairs with a smile on her face, but it didn’t last long. About two minutes after she’d finished doing her hair, Julie noticed something strange out of the corner of her eye and frowned. Until breakfast time, it had been an unusually quiet morning. No hide nor hair of Luke, the tree branches left unrustled and his drapes tightly shut. She’d wondered if it had anything to do with the fight between him and his mom yesterday. Now he was hanging half out of his bedroom window, waving his arms wildly to catch her attention, and for one short moment of bafflement, she looked around feeling as though he must be looking at somebody else. Maybe his friends were down in the yard?

Nope. The yard was empty save for leaves. It had to be her. When she looked back up, he was miming frantically. Wow, he must be terrible at Pictionary.

‘Open it’, he mouthed, once, twice, three times. Finally, it clicked and she shuffled forward with a frown, pushing the glass panel up and away. 

“‘Sup” he called casually from across the way, as though he was not one wrong move away from total calamity. “Can I come over?”

“Over here?” she asked in surprise. “Like into my room?”

“Yeah!”

There wasn’t time to question it. She could just picture him pitching forward and breaking his neck on the ground or something equally as terrible. 

“Uh... sure.”

Watching Luke clamber into the tree and edge his way along to Julie’s side was nerve-wracking at best. She watched his feet, anxiety-ridden and certain his shoes would slip at any moment, but he made it across with surprising deftness. Moving back, she let himself grasp the edge of the window and hoist himself in, hopping into her room with a quiet thud as he hit the floor. He stood, brushing himself down with a grin and shot her a thumbs up. 

She sighed in relief.

“You’re an idiot. D’you know how dangerous that was?”

“It’s fine,” he waved her off. “I’ve done it like a hundred times before and I’ve only fallen like… twice. Look, I made it, didn’t I?”

It was weird having Luke in here. Sure, he’d been over to the house a thousand times before, every time her mom held a neighbourhood get together, but he’d never been in her bedroom before. He looked out of place, staring around at her stuff in curiosity, but much to her embarrassment she realised he also looked as though he’d walked right out of one of the many MTV posters pasted across the walls. 

“So this is your room, huh?”

“Yup. You wanna tell me why you’re in it?”

Her suspicion began to grow as he looked at her. She’d seen that smile before, the cheeky, devilish one he would give people when he wanted something. To the untrained eye, it could be totally disarming, but Julie knew better. There was nothing sweet about that smile. It was just a mask hiding the layer of nefariousness that bubbled under the surface.

“You’re up to something,” Julie said. “Aren’t you?”

“No,” he said, much too fast. 

She raised an eyebrow. He relented with a sigh.

“I need a favour.”

Folding her arms, she waited. Luke gave her a shrewd look and settled himself on the edge of her bed. He had no right to look so at ease, she thought. Her mind whirred self-consciously as he glanced around again. Had she put all her laundry away?

“So my mom’s pretty mad at me,” he started, finally. 

“I noticed,” Julie said. “What d’you do this time?”

“Nothing! I just… missed a couple of classes. And my grades aren’t great. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. The point is she’s mad at me, so I’m grounded now, and I need your help to fix it.”

“How am I supposed to fix it?” she asked. 

“You get good grades, right?” he asked. “And my mom loves you.”

“So… you want me to help you study?”

Laugh

“Hell no,” he said. “But since I’m grounded it means I can’t go to band practice. She took my guitar.”

“That’s too bad, can you get to the point? I’m gonna be late for school.”

“Just hear me out. I don’t want you to help me study, but I want you to _pretend_ to help me study.”

“...what?”

“I need a reason to leave the house that she’ll be into. Studying with you at the library or whatever is perfect. I just need you to cover for me a few nights a week ‘til she eases up on the reigns a little.”

Oh, sweet Jesus.

“That’s the dumbest plan I’ve ever heard,” she said flatly. “Do you think your mom just won’t notice when your grades don’t pick up? Why don’t you actually just study?”

Luke shrugged.

“What’s the point? It’s not like I’m going to college. I just wanna go on tour, and if I’m gonna do that then I gotta be able to practice with my band. So are you in?”

“Wha– no! No way! I’m not gonna lie to your mom for you, Luke. I do actually _like_ her, you know?”

“Oh c’mon, Julie,” he whined. “It’s no big deal. She’ll never find out.”

“How about you try actually going to your classes?” she huffed. “Then maybe you wouldn’t have this problem.”

“ _Please._ ”

“No. I’m not gonna like… undermine your mom or whatever. She’s just trying to look out for you.”

“She’s trying to control my life!”

“Yeah, probably because you don’t actually have any control of your own!”

They glared at one another. Julie couldn’t believe the cheek of it – who did he think she was? She wasn’t going to _lie_ for him, no matter how much he pouted… or how cute he looked when he was pouting.

“Fine,” he conceded, standing up at last. “Your loss. I could've got you into our shows.”

“Oh, how will I ever go on?” she shot back, tone dripping with sarcasm. “My dreams of being a Sunset Swerve groupie… crushed!”

“It’s Sunset _Curve_!”

“Did you know Willie’s back?” Alex demanded.

After his unsuccessful attempt to get Julie to help him, Luke had climbed back into his own room feeling mutinous. He couldn’t believe not only had he failed, but now he had to face yet another day in hell with Covington breathing down his neck and not even his guitar to comfort him during lunch. Fortunately, he’d found that Alex and Reggie had left early this morning to double back and meet him so he wouldn’t have to cycle alone – they even brought him doughnuts. They obviously thought he needed cheering up. Or someone there to stop him from doing something stupid. Either way, he was pleased.

Luke’s eyes flicked over to the Molina’s front door. Sure enough, a vibrantly painted skateboard was leaned up against the front porch. He gave a quick one-armed shrug and hopped onto his bike. 

“I think mom said something about him quitting school. I forgot to tell you.”

“Wait, so he’s back for good?”

Alex’s excitement was palpable. As they rode, Luke and Reggie shared a look of amusement.

“Still got that crush, huh?”

“It’s not a crush,” Alex said. “I just. I just think he’s cool, is all.”

“Uh-huh, sure thing, dude. Hey, you know what might be extra cool? Actually talking to him.”

For three years they’d had to stand by in exasperation as Alex watched Willie come and go from the Molina house with a mixed expression of awe and longing. It wouldn’t be so bad if he’d just say hi to the guy once in a while, but the one time that Luke had actually witnessed them interact was when Willie almost ran Alex over with his skateboard and Alex had been so flustered his entire face went the colour of a tomato. Hilarious for Luke and Reggie, less so for Alex himself.

“I have talked to him!”

“Asking him for the time doesn’t count, bro.”

“Shut _up_.”

“How’d things go with your mom, anyway?” Reggie asked, carefully steering his friends away from a bickering match with a smile. “You get her to ease up at all?”

“Nah,” Luke sighed. “She’s going hardcore with this one. When I walked into the kitchen this morning she wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Ha,” Alex said. “I know the feeling.”

Reggie frowned.

“Maybe you should get her a puppy.”

“...Why?”

“Who could be mad when there’s a puppy around?”

Luke stared at him, unable to think of a counter-argument, and decided the best idea would be to just move on. Reggie’s version of the world worked very differently from everybody else’s.

“Anyway, I thought I had a pretty rad plan, but that crashed and burned too.”

“What was it?”

“Well, you know Julie from next door…?”

“That’s the stupidest plan in the world,” Alex said, once Luke was done explaining.

They’d arrived at school, hopping off their bikes to slide them into the racks out front and head inside. Around them, early-morning zombies in the form of students milled around in tired herds. 

“Oh, shut up. Like you could come up with something better.”

Alex and Reggie didn’t have the same problem as Luke. While they too ended up in detention and skipped school more often than they should, most of the time their delinquency slipped by unnoticed by their parents. For Alex, this was partly because he wasn’t nearly as bad as keeping up his grades as the other two, but mostly (much to the outrage of Alex’s friends) because his parents had stopped interacting with him properly ever since he came out to them. For Reggie, it was the simple matter that his parents were too busy wrapped up in their constant fights and late nights working to notice. Bobby got the occasional slap on the wrist from his dad, but Mr Wilson was more focused on trips to the bar downtown that his son’s schoolwork. 

A little bit of guilt trickled down Luke’s spine at the thought. Julie’s words about his mom just looking out for him echoed in his head. Alex just rolled his eyes.

“She said no anyway,” Luke continued, kicking at the ground and folding his arms.

“So try again.”

“And push my luck like that? No way, man. Julie’s scary when she wants to be.”

“Then we gotta think of something,” he said. “You can’t keep missing band practice. If we’re gonna record that demo we need to sound tight.”

“I know, I know,” he sighed. “I’ll figure something out.”

He would get his guitar back if it killed him.

“He really asked you to lie for him?” Kayla asked. “That’s… sneaky.”

Winter sunlight shone warm across the campus and the girls had settled themselves on one of the tables outside for lunch. Carrie and Flynn were busy squabbling over the results of a personality quiz in _Tiger Beat_ while Julie picked at a plate of fries. 

“Devious,” Julie agreed.

“A little bit insane.”

There was a pause.

“I feel kinda bad though,” she said. “He sounded desperate. I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t allowed to play.”

Guilt had been biting at her all morning, followed by shame at the thought of lying to Mrs Patterson almost immediately and relief that she hadn’t agreed. Then it would cycle back around again, viscous and unending.

“It’s his own fault,” Kayla pointed out. “He could just go to class. It’s not like he’s stupid or anything, right?”

That much was true. Luke was actually quite clever, they knew, but all his focus went into things outside of school. She was certain that if he actually applied himself he could pull his grades up just fine. His mom would be thrilled. If he had actually asked her to help him study she might’ve said yes.

“Yeah,” Julie said, puffing up a little at the reassurance. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s his problem, not mine.”

They paused for a moment, their attention caught by a couple of boisterous guys throwing a football around at the edge of the courtyard. Julie wondered if Luke was into football, or any kind of sport really, after all… he had the arms for it.

“Did he really say he could get you into shows though?” Kayla asked after a moment.

Julie snorted. “Yup. As if. Like that’d be a selling point?”

“Well…” Kayla hummed. “I mean, it would be kinda cool to get to go see them backstage and stuff. I heard their gigs are really fun. Plus you’d get to say you were with the band.”

“Kay! I thought you were on my side here,” Julie groaned.

“I am! I just think it would be neat to go see them play.”

“...Is this about Reggie?”

“No!”

“It’s totally about Reggie,” Carrie chimed in. 

Kayla flipped her the bird, her face reddening. 

“Oh leave her alone,” Flynn said. “She can’t help that she’s in _lo-ove._ ”

The conversation was waylaid then by a storm giggling as Kayla began to fling fries at Flynn and Carrie, cussing them out as Julie’s sides ached from laughter, and one very childish rendition of ‘Kayla and Reggie sitting in a tree!’

The chaos was only brought to a halt by a shadow falling across the table. There was a tap on her shoulder and Julie turned, half expecting (not _hoping_ ) to find Luke ready to beg for her help again, only to find Nick standing there with a sheepish expression on his face. He looked okay, no visible bruises on the rest of him, but it was impossible to miss the bright green cast on his arm. Her eyes zeroed in on it.

Oh no.

“Nick! You’re back,” she said, leaning forward to give him an awkward half-hug. “We were all worried!”

“Yeah, congrats on not dying,” Flynn said sweetly, then nodded to his arm. “How bad is it?”

“Thanks, guys,” he rolled his eyes, smiling, and sighed. “It’s not too bad, it’s just… you know. Kinda broken.”

Kayla gasped.

“I thought it was just a sprain?!”

He grimaced. “That’s what I was hoping, but the x-rays said otherwise.”

“Oh man, that sucks,” Julie patted his arm. “How long does it have to be in the cast for?”

“About a month. I’m really sorry, Jules. I’m not gonna be able to play for a while.”

Shit.

“Oh, no, Nick,” she sighed. “Please don’t feel bad. It’s not like you broke it on purpose. Is there anything we can do to help? Like, lend you our notes and stuff? That’s your writing hand, isn’t it?”

He nodded, then shook his head.

“I’m all good, I swear. Tyler’s in most of my classes so he’s gonna help me out, no biggie. I just wanted to give you a heads up about our project. You think we can get Mrs Harrison to reschedule?”

Julie worried at her lip. The problem was, Nick didn’t technically need the duet composition to pass in the advanced music programme – he’d already done it the year before. Julie hadn’t – she’d missed a lot of music last year. If she wanted to be allowed to continue in the programme next year, then she had to have the credits for this section.

“I’ll talk to her,” she said. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Nick left, and worry continued to churn in her gut even with her friends’ words of consolation.

“It’s just… after last year, this might be my last chance to prove I deserve to stay in music class,” Julie said. “What am I gonna do?”

“Look, it can’t be that bad,” Carrie reasoned. “All else fails and you can’t move the performance back again, then you get another partner and perform the duet with them. Nick’s not the only guy that can play around here, you know.”

“Yeah, exactly…” said Flynn, slowly. “Hey. Doesn’t Luke play the guitar?”

“Don’t even go there.”

“I’m just saying. He needs you and you need someone to play with… it’s just an idea.”

Julie shook her head. “No. No. I’m playing with Nick. We just need a little more time, is all. I’ll talk to Mrs Harrison. It'll’ be fine.”

Ignoring the doubtful looks on the girls’ faces, Julie swept up her tray and headed for the doors. It would be fine. There were a million guitar players on this side of Hollywood. Everything would be fine.


	4. Chapter 4

In the grand scheme of things, losing Nick as a partner didn’t exactly enter into ‘end of the world’ territory but it felt pretty damn close.

“I’m sorry Julie,” Mrs Harrison said sincerely. “There’s nothing I can do. You got a pass last year because of everything happening with your mom, but Principal Eisner made it clear to me that this is your last chance on the programme. You have to be able to complete every project if you want to return next year. You’re going to have to find someone to play with you. Why don’t you try asking one of your friends?”

As hopeful as Mrs Harrison sounded, it was easier said than done. In the course of a few hours, Julie had discovered that not only did everybody who needed the duet composition credit already partnered up, but those who had already done it were unwilling to do it again due to the sheer amount of work they had on their plates with other projects. Her panic level went from concerned, too stressed, to downright losing-her-mind the more people she approached.

“How about Travie Thompson?” Carrie suggested, reapplying her lip gloss with a smack while Julie sat, having a small meltdown, in the perpetually out-of-order stall of their favourite bathroom. 

Flynn shook her head.

“He got suspended for throwing a chair out a window.”

“Robbie from Home Ec?”

“Nope,” Kayla said. “He’s already partnered with Lexie.”

“Missy Traeg-”

“Off sick.”

“That’s it, then,” Julie groaned, burying her face in her arms. “I’m screwed.”

“Well, I mean, there is one option…” Flynn started.

“Don’t,” Julie warned her. “I already told you we’re not going there. I don’t need Luke’s help.”

The girls exchanged looks of exasperation.

“It kinda seems like you do though,” said Kayla, running a soft hand up and down Julie’s back in comforting circles. “You know it’s not a bad thing to ask for help sometimes, right?”

“I know that. It’s just the idea of asking _Luke_. You know he’ll use it as a bargaining chip and… I don’t know. It feels dirty. Like I’d be selling my soul to the devil or something.”

“Luke Patterson’s not the devil, silly,” Kayla laughed. “He’s just a stupid teenage boy.”

“Same thing,” Flynn, Julie and Carrie replied at once. 

There was a pause in which they took a moment to wonder why they bothered with boys, then Carrie sighed, pocketed her lipstick and turned to lean back against the sink with a raised eyebrow.

“Just suck it up, Jules,” she said. “Look, what are you so afraid of? It’s not like he’s even some stranger, you guys practically grew up next door to each other. So you have to tell a little white lie for a few weeks… who cares? You’ll get the grade you need _and_ you get to hang out with one of the hottest boys in school.”

“I don’t want to tell any lies,” she complained in response. “I like Mrs Patterson. She made me cookies on my birthday. She’s friends with my mom.”

“How do you you know she’d find out for sure?” Kayla asked.

“I think it would get pretty obvious when Luke doesn’t graduate.”

Another pause.

“Then up your game,” Carrie said. “Bargain.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said Luke sounded pretty desperate, right? Then he’s not in a position to negotiate. You are. Make it worth it.”

Julie stared at the floor, picking out patterns in the dirty grout between the tiles and mulling this over. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t thought about it. Luke could be stubborn, she knew, but he wasn’t totally unreasonable. He always turned his music down when she asked him to (and sometimes he turned it up when she asked for that as well), and occasionally he could even be helpful. On more than one morning he’d pulled in the Molinas’ garbage cans for them on his way back from God-Knows-Where. 

“It’s just not a good idea,” she said after a moment.

Flynn rolled her eyes.

“Give us one good reason why.”

“Well, for starters he’s a flake. He barely shows up to school for his own grades, why would he bother helping me with mine? He doesn’t take anything seriously. He has the attention span of a toddler, oh and did I mention I would have to _lie to his mother?_ ”

“Oh, please,” Flynn said. “Luke might be flakey with his school stuff, but there’s no way he’d let _you_ down. I mean, especially if you’re doing him a favour.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“The total puppy dog eyes he has when he speaks to you?”

“We don’t even talk that much.”

“Julie, he leaves you signs in his bedroom window.”

“That was _one_ time.”

It had been pretty funny though. He’d hung up one of those little wooden hanging signs that said “Gone fishing” when she’d watched him sneak out. She’d woken up to find a little plush fish on her windowsill, it was like having a very stray cat visiting, which still sat on her bookshelf now. 

“Suck it up,” Carrie reiterated. “Before it’s too late.”

By the time Thursday night had rolled around, Luke was ready to die from the sheer boredom of it all. Every day this week had been the same. Wake up, go to school, try and fail to stay awake during each and every dragging class, go straight home, stare blankly at his homework for an hour, give up and re-read the last four copies of _Rolling Stone_ before finally going to sleep, and repeat. He missed his friends. He missed his guitar. He missed having _fun._

At least, he comforted himself, it had given him time to scribble down all those stray thoughts which would eventually shape themselves into lyrics. He slipped them into Reggie’s pocket every lunch for safe-keeping.

He was halfway into a semi-comfortable nap when a knock at his bedroom door jerked him back to the land of the living. In a half-conscious panic, he scrambled to get hold of the crumpled calculus notes he’d been using as a pillow.

“I’m doing it! I’m doing it,” he called, expecting his mother to come stalking in with a pile of laundry. 

“Uh, Luke?” 

Hold on. That wasn’t his mother. Luke shot to his feet, sending his desk chair clattering to the floor as he swore.

“One second!” he shouted, righting it, and began hastily gathering up stray underwear and pieces of trash to shove into the closet out of sight. Several bangs and crashes later, he finally opened the door.

“Hey, Julie,” he greeted her with a smile, leaning against the doorframe as smoothly as one could when out of breath. “What’s the four-one-one?”

“Can I come in?” she asked. 

The decision to visit Luke had come after two nights of tossing and turning. After the third time she snapped grumpily at him, even Carlos had begun to worry about her and at that point, she’d just started feeling guilty. 

_Negotiate,_ Carrie had said. Hm. Maybe she had a point – it’s not like Luke had much room for argument here. Julie had all of the leverage. 

She sat down in her bedroom on Thursday night, staring at her math homework unseeingly, lost in deliberation. Giving up on homework, she pulled out her notebook and began to doodle idly. It had been a long year of catching up with work she’d missed. She’d always thought that with music it would be easier than everything else, she understood it better than anything, it was a part of her very soul. This hiccup had been unexpected, but if she wanted it to be then… that was all it had to be. A simple hiccup. Nothing more.

Ten minutes later, she looked down to find a half-scribbled lesson plan filling the page in between little cartoon guitars. God. She was doing this then. Pulling on a sweater, she headed downstairs.

“Back in a sec,” she called to her parents, barely registering the answering affirmations that came from the front room. 

A ringing bell broke the peace of the dimming evening as she pressed the button. It didn’t take long for the little blue door of the Pattersons’ house to swing open.

“Hi Mrs Patterson,” Julie said in her sweetest voice. “Sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if I could speak to Luke for a minute.”

Mrs Patterson smiled warmly. “Oh honey, you’re never a bother. He’s right upstairs.”

Guilt tugged at Julie as she returned the smile, slipping up the stairs and heading for Luke’s door. She hesitated. Well, she was here now. No turning back. Taking a deep breath, she raised her fist and knocked.

Being in Luke’s bedroom was just as weird as having him in hers. He ushered her inside, seating her at his desk while he hopped onto the end of the bed, pulling his legs up and crossing them, looking at her curiously. Her skin itched, hot and uncomfortable beneath her collar, his gaze too intense. She distracted herself by taking in the magazine posters pasting the walls; Nine Inch Nails and Gwen Stefani stared back at her, judging. Loose tapes scattered his desk, handwriting scrawled across the labels of some, and a stack of VHS tapes tottered in the corner next to his chunky little television. 

“I’ve been thinking about your offer,” she started. 

Luke’s face cycled through several emotions all at once, going from confusion to consternation to childish delight in a matter of seconds. That devious shine was back in his eye. It made Julie nervous.

“But _if_ I do agree, I’m not going to lie for you,” she added quickly. “If we’re gonna do this, then we’re gonna do it right.”

He levelled her an evaluative look. After a long moment, he finally nodded. 

“Name your terms.”

“My partner for the duet composition project in advanced music had to drop. Everybody else is already paired up.”

“So you need someone to play with you?” 

Was she seeing things, or did Luke actually look a little bit excited by the idea? He’d leaned forward, expression thoughtful and fingers tapping against his knee in anticipation.

“Not just that,” Julie continued. “You’re going to study and I’m going to help you.”

The fingers stilled. Luke’s face shuttered.

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly.”

“What’s the point?” he whined, flopping backwards and sprawling out his limbs as dramatically as he could manage.

Julie was unimpressed. This was something she was used to if more with Flynn than with Luke and she knew how to handle it. Ignore and move on. Ignore and move on. _Ignore and move on_.

“If you fail out anyway then you really won’t be able to hold up your end of the bargain,” she said, matter-of-factly. “I need to pass and so do you. If you get kicked out then we’re both screwed. You’ve got to take this seriously if you want it to work.”

Silence.

“Anyway,” she added. “Don’t you think your mom will loosen up faster if you actually bring home a good grade? Then you can go back to doing whatever it is you do. I help the girls study all the time. It’ll be a piece of cake. All you need is a little bit of structure.”

He sat up, leaning on his elbow. His hair flopped forwards into his eyes. Julie fought back the urge to lean forward and brush it out of his eyes. 

“You already got a song for the project?” he asked.

“Pretty much. It’s almost done, anyway. Nick and I were meant to finish it this weekend…”

He nodded, contemplatively.

“So all you need from me is to learn my part and play the final performance, right?”

“Yeah. Did you get the credit for this project already?”

The one thing Julie knew about Luke’s academic talents, aside from the fact he was failing enough classes for the threat of being held back to be real, was that he was in the advanced music programme too. He and his band had performed for the Junior Showcase last year – they’d been the best act by far. 

He nodded. “End of Freshman year… you really think you can help me pass?”

Her turn to nod. If she could get Kayla to understand chemistry, then she could get Luke to his cap and gown. She was determined. 

“Okay. Deal.”

They shook on it. Luke’s solemn expression broke out into that winning smile once more and Julie tried not to notice how big his hand was wrapped around hers. Relief, mixed with the uneasy sense of anticipation, took hold. This would be good for both of them she told herself. Nothing to worry about.

What could go wrong?


	5. Chapter 5

As November crept to an end, the busier parts of life picked up. School grew impossibly more hectic, projects due in and the homework count growing higher, and Julie became certain that she was one crisis away from going bald with stress. She wasn’t going to forget her commitments, though. Luke was going to graduate whether he liked it or not. 

The first night they studied together, it started with Julie hearing a tap at her window and whipping around to find Luke hanging onto the branches outside. It was already growing dark and if it weren’t for the lights in their bedrooms, his path between the houses would have been almost totally obscured. What. An. Idiot. 

He waved at her, shooting her a cheeky wink, and much to her own exasperation she found herself smiling in return. She really shouldn’t humour his insane behaviour, she knew that, but there was only so much she could do when he was determined to become the walking definition of chaos.

“Let me in,” he said, voice muffled through the glass.

For a brief moment, she considered leaving him there to teach him a lesson, but the branches of the tree were shaking behind him in an alarming manner. Did she really want to explain to her parents why they would have to take Luke to the ER if he fell on their garden fence? No. With a sigh, she slid the window up.

"You know you can use the front door, right?" she asked as he hauled himself inside. “In fact, it’s encouraged.”

"It's more fun this way," he grinned.

She raised an eyebrow. There was a small suspicion sneaking through the back of her mind that Luke was avoiding her parents. 

“Okay,” he clapped his hands together. “Let’s get this over with!” 

“Make yourself at home,” she said, picking up a pile of textbooks and dumping them on the end of her bed. He flopped down on the other side, sighing as he sprawled out against her pillows. It was disconcerting, seeing him so relaxed in her room. Shaking herself out of it, she pressed on. 

“I thought we could start with history. You said that’s one of your worst classes, right? So how do you usually study?"

Luke gave her a blank look. It did little to lift her spirits.

“What method do you use?” she asked again, willing him to engage. 

"Open the book and hope? I don't know... I always get bored after a few minutes. Nothing really sticks."

Hm. Okay. This was going to be harder than she'd thought.

“What about flashcards?” she said, sitting down across from him. 

“They make awesome spitballs if you chew them up enough.”

Oh boy. They were in for a long night.

Studying with Luke was both better and worse than Julie had expected. He had no focus. Zero. Zilch. But he did make her laugh. 

"Want a tic tac?" he asked, five minutes into their study session. rattling the box at her.

“No, I want to pass my classes,” she said. She kind of did want a tic tac though.

There was a pause. Luke rattled the box again. Okay, just one. 

Ten minutes later, he began to hum. Julie just clutched her pen tighter and tried to ignore it. His leg bounced beneath the table. Julie could feel the movement of it every time he knocked his knee against the leg. Gritting her teeth, she tried to refocus on her work, but it was a futile effort. Only moments later, Luke began to drum his pen against the page. If he didn't stop moving soon she was actually going to kill him. But before she could fully formulate a plan to hide his body, he broke the silence. 

"Hey, you wanna get ice cream?" he asked, flicking another balled up piece of notebook paper across the bed towards the wastepaper basket in the corner.

Julie eyed the steadily growing collection on the floor and glanced at the clock. She sighed. They’d been at this for an hour now. Luke had written two sentences. She had a full two pages of notes.

“Luke, we both have work to do.”

“Can’t work on an empty stomach,” he argued. “First rule of studying.”

“And what would you know about studying?”

“Enough to know that when the belly is a’rumblin’ the thoughts ain’t a’tumblin’.”

“...sometimes it’s better to stay quiet.”

“Yeah, I regret that one.”

Luke liked everything about Julie's bedroom. The gossamer purple curtains, the extensive collection of troll dolls lined up on her shelves beside her books, the even bigger collection of beanie babies which had made their home on her bed... it was all very... well, very Julie. It exuded warmth and comfort. Red-eyed photographs of her and her friends dotted the walls alongside large posters of TLC and Mark-Paul Gosselaar. They provided the perfect distraction from the World History book open in front of him.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t _trying_ to take in what she’d said about Napoleon the Battle of Waterloo or whatever, but the second she’d said the words ABBA had started playing on a loop in his brain and he hadn’t been able to shake it since. That had been the beginning of the downward spiral.

It also didn’t help that Julie herself was so distracting. Every so often, when she leaned forward to write something down, a stray curl would slide loose across her cheek. His fingers itched to reach out and push it back into place. It _had_ to tickle. If he was in her place it would’ve been driving him nuts. It _was_ driving him nuts.

Still, she looked sweet in her soft sweater and jeans, brow furrowed in concentration. Seeing her like this almost made all the mind-numbingly boring studying worth it. 

Almost.

“Julie,” he said after another painstaking five minutes had dragged by. “Julie, I’m bored.”

She glanced at him. Wow… she had really long eyelashes. He’d never noticed that before. They were pretty.

“Just try and focus,” she said. 

“But I _can’t_ ,” he whined.

“Yes you _can,_ ” she whined back, mimicking his tone. 

It startled a laugh out of him, and she rolled her eyes as she sat up. 

“Look… if you can get at least half of that chapter done,” she pointed to his book. “ _Then_ we can go out for ice cream.”

“For real?”

"Only if you promise that if we _do_ get ice cream then you’ll actually try to focus when we get back."

"...As long as I get sprinkles."

"Fine."

"Yes!" 

He punched the air in excitement.

“So… for real, how come you’re so against school?” Julie asked.

They were wandering down the street side by side, each holding a large cone piled high with ice cream. She amused herself for a moment, watching Luke’s futile efforts to chase the green mint goo dripping down his fingers with his tongue. He had borrowed his mom’s car to drive them to the store – a quaint little place ten minutes away from home with one of those huge old fashioned signs out front and more flavours behind their glass case than you could count. Mrs Patterson had hesitated at first, she couldn’t be blamed, but relented quickly when she spotted Julie waiting on the doorstep. 

“I’m not… _against_ it,” Luke explained slowly, his puppy-like smile falling into a frown. “It’s just not for me. Y’know?”

“Why though?”

The question had been burning at her all night. Contrary to popular belief, Luke wasn’t stupid. Far from it. His mind worked quickly and his words worked quicker. The only thing tripping him up was his reluctance to do the actual work.

“I don’t see the point,” he admitted. “Like… I’m not going to college. I don’t wanna end up in some boring stuffy office job. So why waste my time going through the motions, right?”

Hm. Julie nodded slowly. The strawberry hit sweet on her tongue as she mulled this over… she had to admit it, the ice cream run had been a pretty good idea.

“You said you’re gonna go on tour,” she continued. “Is that what you’re gonna do after you graduate? Just play in your band?”

“If I graduate,” Luke corrected with a rueful smile. “Why, you don’t think we can do it?”

“I didn’t say that. I just meant… like, what is it that makes you so sure that’s what you want? You seem so set on it.”

He shrugged. “I just know it’s what I’m meant to be doing. I love writing, I love performing, I love my band. Playing just makes me feel so connected to the world. I could do anything on stage. Music is like… the one thing that keeps me going, you know?”

“Yeah,” she agreed quietly. “I get that.”

They walked in silence for a couple of seconds, and then he nudged her with a half-smile. 

“Your turn. Fess up.” 

“What do you mean?”

"How come you're doing this now?" he asked. "The duet. I thought duets were a Freshman comp."

Oof. Where to start?

"They are. I just… I stopped playing for a while," she admitted with a grimace. "Last year, when my mom got sick, it was... it was really hard. She was the one who taught me how to play. We would write together all the time. It just didn't feel right to go on doing it without her while she was stuck in a hospital bed. So I fell behind."

"Oh, I'm sorry... I didn’t know." 

Julie had never seen Luke look so genuine. She shrugged, returning her gaze to the melting ice cream in her hand.

“It’s cool.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way back to the car, finishing off their food, and if their hands brushed occasionally as they went, then Julie pretended not to notice.

As hard as he tried to avoid it, Luke had to face being around Julie’s parents eventually. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them – totally the opposite, actually – it was just they were _so_ nice. And _so_ proud. Every time he spoke to them he heard that quiet tone of approval in their voices when they brought up Julie and a tiny, minuscule, part of him wallowed in envy.

But Julie had put her foot down about using the window, so the front door had become his only option. Nerves twitched in his stomach as he jogged up the front path to their porch one Saturday morning. It felt weird to walk in without knocking, but she’d assured him that she’d warned her parents he was coming over and it was all fine.

"Hello, Luke," Mrs Molina greeted him with a warm smile. "Cookie?"

The kitchen counters were piled high with plates of steaming chocolate chip cookies. Luke took a long whiff — the smell was heavenly.

“Whoa,” he said. “You trying to feed an army, Mrs M?”

She laughed, pleasant and light in the same way that Julie often did when she was in a good mood.

“Carlos' school is having a bake sale," she explained. "Here, you can be my taste tester."

Luke wasn’t about to say no to free food. He took the cookie she’d offered with an enthusiastic grin and moaned in delight as it hit his tongue. The outside crunched satisfyingly, but it was soft and gooey at the centre. The chocolate melted in his mouth, followed quickly by the sugary sweet dough. 

"This has to be the best cookie I've ever tasted."

"Oh, hush. Aren’t you sweet? Here," she insisted, holding out a plate. "Take these. You guys will need some study fuel. Julie's waiting for you in the studio, just head outside and down the little path. Can't miss it."

"Thanks, Mrs Molina." 

It was their first rehearsal together. Excitement buzzed through him. Having his guitar case strapped to his back once again just felt _right_. He couldn’t believe how easily his mom had agreed to him practising with Julie. Striking up a bargain with her might’ve been the smartest move he’d ever made.

He bounced his way down the garden, whistling to himself, and hesitated as he reached the big white doors. They were already open, stopping him in his tracks as he saw what was inside. He had been expecting a musty old garage filled with rusting tools. Well, to tell the truth, it was a little bit musty, but it was a far cry from what he’d been picturing on the walk through the yard. Warm and dry, the room had been converted into a clean and spacious room filled with music stands, shelves of books and small trinkets, and a beautiful grand piano which sat in the middle. A small seating area had been set up off to the side with a comfortable looking couch and a small coffee table. Somebody could have lived in it if they’d wanted to. It was exactly as Mrs Molina had described it – a studio. Light filtered in through the glass wall of the far end, filling the room with golden light and bathing the shelves of lush green plants in it. 

Julie stood there, a little watering can in hand, topping up the pots on the lower shelves with a serene look on her face. He couldn’t blame her – from the second he’d stepped in the door he’d felt overcome by a sense of ease. Safety. If he had a place like this to escape to at home, would he and his mom fight as much as they did?

“Oh hey, Luke,” she greeted him, her smile widening as she put the can down and wiped her hands on her jeans. The light from the windows lit up her silhouette from behind, creating a soft angelic glow around her. Luke swallowed.

Music. That was what he was here for. He bounded forward.

“I have something to show you,” he grinned, dropping his bag on the coffee table and tugging out a binder of notes. He flipped it open and offered it to her. The bright red ‘C+’ was unmissable at the top of the page.

“Luke!” Julie said. “You passed!”

He nodded, grinning. “Mr Harrison even accused me of cheating.”

“...Is that supposed to be a good thing?”

“I’m choosing to think so.”

Their study sessions had continued in a similar vein to the first for the rest of the week. Positive reinforcement. That was what Julie decided he needed. It turned out that food was a big motivator for him – not that this was news to him. All of Luke's distractions either involved a new melody slipping out from the right hemisphere of his brain or opening the fridge in search of snacks to gorge himself on.

"When you get a question right,” Julie had said on the second night. “Then you get a peep."

Luke became a quiz answering pro.

Food wasn’t the only thing that had led to his sudden academic success. Julie was a pretty good teacher, he had to admit. She had a way of getting him to think about things in a way that no teacher at school ever had.

"I can't do this," he’d groaned at one point, throwing his own down and covering his face with his hands.

"Yes, you can," Julie insisted. "Look, Luke. You write all the time. I've seen that journal you carry around."

"Those are songs though. It's different."

"No, it's not. Just... look at it like you're writing a song. Like you're Billy Joel writing we didn't start the fire."

There was a pause. He couldn’t help it, Luke cracked up. Julie threw her pen at him in response, but he didn’t miss the way her lips twitched in amusement, and he grabbed it as it hit his chest, pointing at her.

"Billy Joel," he shook his head, chuckling. "Alright, you got it, boss. I'll be Billy Joel about it." 

So he got Billy Joel about his work. Putting words to music to memorise them was surprisingly helpful. He even found himself starting to get a little bit invested in some of the stuff they were learning. The olden days were kind of crazy.

Still. Some days were better than others. One night, working at the Patterson’s dining room table, Julie had peered over his shoulder, indignance colouring her tone. 

"Are you playing on your Game Boy?" she hissed.

"No," Luke said quickly.

Her eyes narrowed. Alarm bells rang in his head. Danger, danger, danger. Without warning, Julie was launching herself over towards him, but she was no match for Luke's quick reflexes. He pushed himself back, nearly toppling from his chair as he did, and pulled the Game Boy well out of her reach.

"It's not my fault!" he cried. "Super Mario waits for no man!"

When he’d gotten his World History test back in class the day before, he’d wanted to head over to Julie’s and show her right away, or maybe pin it in the window for her to see, but he decided to play it cool. Alex and Reggie had been ecstatic for him. Luke was almost proud of himself.

“See! You can do it, it’s just about focusing,” Julie said.

“Couldn’t have done it without you.”

She smiled, dropping her gaze shyly to the floor, and kicked at his ankle lightly. 

“You should give yourself more credit.”

“I am. Believe me, it’s a miracle I didn’t jump out the window when you made me go through those flashcards. So… are you gonna show me this duet, or what?”

Julie led him over to the piano. A pile of sheets sat waiting on the stand. Luke picked up the first. 

**‘Perfect Harmony’** , **_written and composed by Julie Molina._ **

The sheet was marked with splotches of black in. Each ledger line was dotted with carefully drawn crotchets and quavers, chords bringing to life a sweet song which Luke could already hear strumming up in his mind. Julie's looping scrawl was pencilled in across the margins of the page. He ran a fingertip across the words, careful not to smudge them, feeling the indentations that they left in the paper. Some words were faded, tiny pieces of rolled-up eraser still remaining where they'd been rubbed out and rewritten half a dozen times. 

"Sorry," she said, peering over his shoulder with a sheepish expression. "It's not that neat."

He waved her away. “It’s neater than my stuff.”

It was easy to picture Julie sitting at her desk, or sprawled across her bed, surrounded by paper and her fingers curled around a pencil as she frowned in concentration, filling in the details as the song poured out of her soul, just like Luke did when he was alone. 

Julie felt her heart pick up as Luke flipped through the pages of her song. It wasn’t that she cared what he thought (...okay, so she might, just a little) but more so that she was aware of how long it had been since she’d composed an entire song. She still wasn’t sure if she’d shaken off all the rust.

“This is really good, Julie,” he said, honestly. Then he looked up, mischief glittering in his eyes, and she sensed danger ahead. “So who’s it about?”

Why was she blushing? It should be illegal for bodies to do that against your will.

“It’s not about anybody,” she said, snatching the pages back. “It’s just a song for the class.”

“Uh-huh… so it’s totally about that lacrosse guy, right?” he said. “The dude you were working with before?”

“Nick?!” she squawked indignantly. “No! Oh my God, no. He’s my _friend_ , Luke.”

She hadn’t been lying when she said it was just a song. The truth was, the person she had written about was just a faceless figure in her imagination waiting to be filled in. Somehow, that seemed more embarrassing to admit than having an actual crush on somebody would.

“Can we just get started?” she asked, ignoring his gleeful expression in favour of sitting down and pushing the lid back from the piano keys. “We’ve got work to do.”

Face still red, Julie settled down. Luke dug his guitar out, plugging it into the amp her mom had allowed him to borrow and tuning it up. Slung across his front, the guitar could've been a natural part of him. His fingers danced across the fretboard with practised ease and Julie felt her mouth go dry. She looked away, letting a curtain of hair fall across her face, and tried to ignore the flex of his biceps out of the corner of her eye. No distractions, she thought. They had work to do.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Monday rolled around with a smile. By some miracle, Luke woke up before his alarm and after a full night of restful sleep. He felt refreshed, stretching back against his pillows, and the first thing he did was roll over to peer through the gap in the curtains. Julie wasn’t up yet, her purple drapes still drawn, but he wondered if he could catch her before school. Probably not – she always left later than he did. 

Energy fizzed through him. Instead of settling back down and pulling a blanket over his head like he usually might, he pushed his covers back and headed for the bathroom humming as he went. _Perfect Harmony_ was one hell of an earworm. It had been stuck in his head since yesterday. Love songs and ballads weren’t really his thing, but there was something about this one…

“ _We say we’re friends, we play pretend_ ,” he sang cheerfully into the showerhead, an imaginary crowd swaying side to side with their lighters in the air. “ _You’re more to me, we’re everything…_ ”

Maybe it was Julie’s voice that had him so wound up. It was like none he’d ever heard before. He couldn’t believe somebody was walking around with that much talent inside them with the rest of the world completely oblivious to it. She was going places, that was for sure, he’d be damned if she didn’t. Man, he kind of wished he could tape her singing so he could listen back to it when he needed a pick-me-up. Happiness, bottled. That’s what she sounded like. She could sell it for millions if she wanted to.

“Mornin’, ma,” he greeted as he bounded into the kitchen twenty minutes later. She waking making an omelette at the stove. “Smells good.”

“Oh, um, thank you, sweetheart. Did you want one?”

“No time, sorry,” he said. “Got a bio test to study for.”

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, oblivious to her bemused expression as he grabbed a bagel and headed for the door. “See you later!”

His thoughts stayed wrapped in Julie while he cycled to school, narrowly missing several pedestrians on the way and almost riding into traffic at one point. As the weekend had progressed, rehearsals went better than either of them could’ve predicted. Julie was a really talented writer, Luke found himself stunned by her lyrics, and she didn’t mind when he jumped in with suggestions for the song too. He’d picked up the duet quickly, already beginning to memorise his parts, and they’d totally hit it off. Working with Julie was better than Luke could ever remember it being with anybody else. One of them would begin a thought and the other would end it. It was as though they were tuned in to the same wavelength. Playing with her was the most fun he’d had in a while. Would it be weird to ask if she’d write something new with him? He was desperate to know what they could come up with from scratch.

“Hello,” a hand waved in front of his face, interrupting his thoughts. “Earth to Luke.”

Alex and Reggie had been stood waiting for him by the bike racks. He hadn’t even noticed them when he started chaining his up.

“Good morning, boys,” he grinned, slipping in between them and slinging his arms around their shoulders. “Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

Reggie let out a low whistle. “Someone’s in a good mood. What happened?”

“Nothing! Can’t I just appreciate–”

“He was hanging out with Julie this weekend,” Alex interjected.

“ _Oh_ ,” Reggie nodded. “That makes sense.”

Luke dropped his arms, frowning at them. 

“What does Julie have to do with me being in a good mood?” he asked.

“Please, dude, you’re always smiling when you talk about her,” Alex said. 

“So? What’s your point?”

The boys exchanged a look that Luke couldn’t decipher, then Alex rolled his eyes. 

“You show her your test score?”

Luke nodded, his smile returning at the memory of the genuine delight on Julie’s face when he’d told her. 

They still had a little while before classes started so the three of them settled down at one of the tables out in the courtyard to wait. Reggie pulled out a bag of Gummy Bears and they tucked in. A nutritional breakfast was the most important way to start the day, after all. It wasn’t long before Bobby joined them. He slid into the space beside Alex, fist-bumping them all in greeting, and dumped his bag on the table with a dramatic _plunk!_

“I got good news and bad news, boys,” he said. “Which do you wanna hear first?”

They looked at one another. Anxiety flashed across Alex’s face and Reggie patted his knee in comfort.

“Bad news,” they chorused.

“Dad says we can’t practise at my place anymore,” Bobby told them. “Too many noise complaints from the neighbours.”

“Fuck.”

Fuck indeed. Sunset Curve practice spaces bounced around a lot. When they managed to scrape up the cash, usually in the summer or around Christmas when they could get crappy seasonal jobs, they’d rent out a small space in some shady building downtown.

At the moment, broke as they were, they’d been settling for going wherever they could which usually meant Bobby’s house thanks to his dad’s near-permanent absence. 

“We’ll just have to figure something else out,” Luke sighed. “So what’s the good news?

“Oh, it’s not just good. It’s awesome. Alex… drum roll please.”

With a nervous laugh, Alex began rapping his fists against the table.

“Dudes and gentlemen,” Bobby announced with a wolfish grin. “I got us a gig.”

Elation ballooned up inside Luke. It had been ages since they’d played for a crowd, since before he was grounded at least. Gigs had been thin on the ground lately without him around to help badger booking agents into letting them perform.

“Alright!” Reggie high-fived him. Bobby looked pleased with himself, as he should.

“Where is it?” Alex asked.

His smugness dimmed a little.

“Well, okay it’s not really a gig,” he said. “It’s an audition for a gig, but it’s at that bar downtown. _Helios._ ”

Holy crap. Luke’s eyes widened. _Helios_ was one of the older rock clubs downtown. It was small, dirty, and known for being one of the best venues you could play as a band. AR reps and talent scouts frequented the joint, and a lot of better known local bands hung out there too. You could make all sorts of connections in a place like that.

“That’s awesome, bro! How’d you swing it?” he asked.

“You know that girl Ashley set me up with a couple of weeks back? Her sister knows a guy there.”

Alex laughed. “So really we should be thanking Ash, huh?”

Bobby flipped him the bird, but his pleased smile returned full force.

“This is so rad,” Luke said, thoughts going a mile a minute. “D’you know how many bands started off there? God… we’ve gotta ace that audition, guys.”

“You think you’ll be able to make it?” Reggie asked with a frown. “I mean… aren’t you still grounded?”

Bobby snorted. “Like he’s ever asked for permission before.”

“It’ll be fine, Reg. I’ve got my guitar back now,” Luke enthused. “Gotta be able to practice with Julie. When is it?”

“Today.”

“Today?!”

He nodded. “They said it was the only time they could do it. Three o’clock. You guys cool with bailing on last period?”

Oof. That would be cutting it close – Luke had agreed to head over to the Molinas’ place again for practice after school. And bailing on another class this close to his warnings from the Principal was risky… but it was _Helios_! This was the opportunity of a lifetime. What if they never got another chance to play there again? Besides, his grades were on the rise anyway, and if they left pretty soon after they finished then he could for sure make it back home in time. He nodded determinedly.

“Let’s do it.”

Lunch was spent at the mall that day. Julie sipped on a milkshake happily, glad that she’d agreed to sneak out with the girls. Sophomores technically weren’t allowed off campus to eat, but Carrie had somehow gotten hold of passes for them and they were all too eager to escape the crappy prepackaged burritos of the cafeteria in exchange for munching on hotdogs at the food court. 

“So what are we doing this weekend?” Kayla asked. “Are you gonna abandon us again, Jules?”

“I didn’t abandon you,” she complained in response, but the girls were already snickering.

“Don’t worry, we don’t blame you. I’d abandon you guys too if I had the chance to hang out with a guy as cute as Luke Patterson.”

“Would you stop? We’re just friends.

“As if,” Carrie snorted but didn’t allow Julie the chance to defend herself before sliding a bright orange flyer across the table. “You can’t ditch this weekend, anyway. Party at my place.

Flynn made a noise of interest, slurping at her drink as she examined the flyer. “What’s the occasion?”

“Do we need an occasion to celebrate my awesomeness?”

“No, but let me know if we need to get a pin to pop your ego,” Flynn teased. “Wouldn’t want you floating away.”

Carrie elbowed her, continuing on airily.

“Randy from the cheer squad said his brother can get us kegs. He’s in college, you know.”

There was a pause. They all looked at her. Cheer squad, hm. Julie knew what the others were thinking. She was about to voice her thoughts when Kayla beat her to it.

“Did he also happen to mention anything about inviting Tasha?” she asked slyly.

Carrie flipped her hair back, avoiding their eyes. 

“Maybe he did.”

Ah, there it was. Julie sniggered. Carrie might have looked unbothered, but she only ever examined her nails like that when she was stressing about something.

“You’re really throwing a whole party to get the attention of one girl, huh?”

“Shut up, I am not. That would be desperate.”

Flynn and Julie made eye contact and looked away quickly. Giggles were bubbling up in her chest and she fought to push them down. Carrie liked to be in control of things. She was used to getting what she wanted. So when, inevitably, things didn’t always go her way, her frustration could run away with her. She could paste on the mask of coolness all she liked, but her friends knew her better than to be fooled by it.

“It’s not desperate,” Kayla said, comfortingly. “I think it’s sweet.”

There was another pause. 

“It’s a little bit desperate,” Flynn admitted. “But Kay’s right, it’s sweet.”

Julie couldn’t hold back her giggles anymore. Carrie kicked her under the table.

“At least I can admit when I find someone attractive,” she said. 

The giggles stopped. Julie scowled at her. Kayla and Flynn suppressed twin smiles.

“And on the topic of your repressed feelings,” Carrie continued. “I do actually need a favour.”

“I’m not sure I wanna grant you any favours right now,” Julie shot back.

She ignored her. “Can you ask Luke if Sunset Curve will play the party? More people will show if they do.”

Nobody needed to tell her that enough people would attend a party at Carrie’s house without Sunset Curve playing too, it was an obvious fact, but Julie felt the urge to point it out all the same. As soon as she opened her mouth, though, Flynn cut her off.

“Just do it, Jules,” she said. “It’s not worth arguing.”

Carrie’s lips had that determined tilt to them they’d all seen one hundred times before. It was the expression that meant she was getting things done. Julie had lost this battle before it had even started. With a huff of resignation, she rolled her eyes.

“Fine, I’ll ask. But don’t be surprised if he says no. I doubt they’ll wanna party with sophomores.”

For a day that had started off with an extra shine, things went downhill very quickly. After sneaking out the gates from school, the band took a quick detour to Luke’s house to grab his guitar before hopping in Bobby’s rusting van and heading downtown. The traffic was awful. They almost didn’t make it to the club by three. When they did get there, the woman who opened the door for them looked them up and down with unimpressed eyes and ushered them to the main bar area where the stage was.

Luke and the boys had only been to _Helios_ a couple of times, bribing their way in and flashing their terrible fake IDs at bouncers who couldn’t have cared less just so they could join the moshpits that writhed in the crowds at some of the liveliest shows of the week. The difference in atmosphere was stark during the day. With the lights on, the grime on the walls and floor was obvious, but it made the collection of flyers, photographs and record sleeves that pasted the room no less impressive. Names bigger than they could dream of being had played here in their early days. He salivated at the thought. 

“We’re Sunset Curve,” he said into the mic. “And this is _Now Or Never._ ”

They launched into the song. The club’s booking agent and the manager sat at one of the tall tables, piles of paperwork in front of them, glancing up occasionally. Instead of worrying about their disinterest, Luke chose to throw himself into the performance and let the music whip him into a frenzy. Man, it felt good to shred again. Behind him, Alex was on fire. Bobby and Reggie brought the chorus alive.

By the time the song ended, he was on his knees and out of breath, but grinning uncontrollably. They had _aced_ it for sure. You could feel the energy of it through the room. He glanced at the table again, the booking agent still looked bored. Her chin rested on the palm of her hand.

“Thanks, guys,” she said, tiredly. “You can go. We’ll let you know what we decide.”

“That’s it?” Luke asked, staring at her in disbelief. “But–”

She arched her eyebrow at him, the steel piercing throw it glinting in the light. Bobby elbowed him, hard, and he forced himself to swallow his words.

“Thanks,” he finished and turned around to pack up his guitar with a heavy heart.

All four of them winced at the sunshine as they pushed their way out of the exit. None of them had spoken yet, an air of disappointment engulfing them. Luke was just glad they’d borrowed the club’s drumkit instead of heaving Alex’s in – he wasn’t sure he could’ve stayed silent all the way through moving that out.

“Well,” Alex said when they reached the van. “That sucked. I really thought we did good, you know?”

Reggie and Bobby murmured in agreement. Frustration pulsed through Luke.

“We played great,” he insisted. “It’s their loss if they don’t take us. And… and if they don’t, then we’ll give them no choice. Like that time with the bar down the strip. We’ll play outside if we have to.”

“I don’t know man,” Reggie rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t think I can handle getting arrested again. The cops are kinda mean.”

Alex patted Reggie’s shoulder comfortingly as Luke chewed his lip. There had to be _something_ they could do to convince _Helios_ they were worth a shot. They needed this. 

“Don’t worry, man,” Bobby reassured him. “As soon as we record our demo we’ll be flying high. We’ve almost got all the funds for it.”

Shoved under Alex’s bed, since he was the most responsible, was a jar full of every cent the boys had managed to make since February. Bobby was right. A few more months, some smaller shows at their usual haunts, and they’d be all set. Luke almost smiled at the thought. Maybe Julie would take a listen to their CD once they had one. 

Julie. _Julie._

Panic hit. He grabbed Alex’s arm to look at his watch.

“Shit. We gotta run or I’m gonna be late. Bobby, bro, drive fast.”

The studio echoed empty and cold around Julie, a single _D_ sharp ringing through the air from where she’d accidentally elbowed the piano keys. It was an hour past when she and Luke had agreed to meet. Where was he? Had he really hated their last rehearsal so much that he’d bailed, or had he just decided that once was enough? The pages of _Perfect Harmony stared_ at her forlornly from the music stand. Scowling, she snatched them up roughly, not caring whether she crumpled the edges. There was no point sitting out here alone any longer. It was already getting dark outside and the cold would creep in soon enough. 

Carlos would be back from baseball practice by now. Maybe she could convince him to go to Blockbuster with her. They could rent a movie and get Slurpees from 7/11… if she was lucky, she might even be able to convince him to sit through _Pretty Woman_ again.

She was still planning how to convince him as she headed outside, vehemently ignoring the creeping sense of rejection at the edge of her thoughts when hurried footsteps came bounding down the little stone pathway towards her. Luke appeared around the corner, red-faced and sweating. He skidded to a halt when he spotted her. 

“Julie, oh my God. I am so sorry-”

“Save it,” she said, folding her arms defensively. So he hadn’t forgotten about her entirely then. She had just been a second priority to whatever he’d been doing before he remembered she existed. Anger flared up inside of her. “I’m not in the mood for excuses. You’re over an hour late, luke. I thought we had a deal?”

He walked towards her slowly, hands up in surrender. 

“I swear I’ll make it up to you,” he said. “It’s just been a really hectic day, I got caught up.”

Caught up, huh?

“Is it true that you cut class again? Because I looked for you after school and Marty Carmichael said you bailed on English.”

Luke’s eyes widened with guilt.

“What? Bailed? Ha. Pfft, no.”

“Seriously, you’re gonna lie to me right now?” Julie levelled him with the most unimpressed expression she could. It was the one her mom used when she caught Carlos in a lie. Luke dropped the act at once, making a noise of resignation. 

“Okay, so I cut class, but it was really important–”

“Important enough to leave me sitting here by myself when we should’ve been practising? The final performance is only a few weeks away, Luke.”

“Julie,” he tried to plead with her, but she was having none of it.

“You know, it sucks that after last week I thought this was a really good idea,” Julie said. “And you’ve just come out here and proved me wrong. We worked together _really_ well. I thought you felt that way too. You _know_ how important this is to me and then you still bailed? We had a deal… I thought we were a team, here. I don’t know. Maybe this was a mistake.”

“It _was_ a mistake, Julie, I swear I wasn’t trying to be late–”

“No,” she stopped him and gestured between them. “I mean _this_ was a mistake. Working together when you obviously don’t want to. Go home, Luke.”

She pushed past him, stalking down the path without looking back.

“Julie, wait!” he started after her, but she was already gone.

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Luke had messed up plenty of times before, but none had ever felt worse than this. Guilt churned at his stomach as he replayed the events of the afternoon over and over in his mind. The hurt expression Julie wore, the tone of betrayal in her voice, her accusations... What made it all worse was knowing that she was right. Luke _was_ unreliable. He should have been there and he hadn’t been. 

God. Could he go one week without being a screw-up?

He tried not to think about it, distracting himself by plucking away at his six-string in a somewhat half-hearted attempt at writing a new song, but for once his imagination was quiet. Eventually, he had given up on the guitar and even made an attempt at his science homework, but it felt wrong without Julie there needling him about his awful handwriting. For what must have been the hundredth time that evening, he glanced at the window. Her light was on but her curtain was drawn. He sighed, wishing he knew how to fix it. 

Over the fence, Julie was feeling just as miserable. As soon as she had left the yard, she’d wanted to turn around and yell at Luke some more, but that felt counterproductive and, besides, all her energy had zapped right out of her when she walked away. She’d settled for storming into the kitchen, muttering to herself about unreliable boys and their stupid floppy hair. Her dad had watched her stomp through the room and, without saying a word, had offered her a doughnut from the store on the corner.

If she had cried a little bit as she ate it, nobody had to know. 

The stress was really getting to her. She said as much when she called Flynn, aching to rant to somebody who understood her frustration. They talked for a while, mulling over possible motives and attempting to unravel the mysteries that were boys’ brains. Julie wondered if she could ask Carlos to write her a guide to understanding men, but she was starting to think Luke might be an outlier when it came to predictable behaviour.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s my fault for trusting him. I mean I knew he was unreliable, but it’s just… I thought we were friends, you know?”

Flynn hummed down the line, voice crackling and tinny whenever she spoke. Julie was perched on the stairs, winding the cord of the house phone around her finger distractedly, watching the way the loops of it fit around her skin. Every so often, her dad wandered down the hall, giving her a smile and tapping his wrist in a silent reminder. _‘Phone bill’_ , he mouthed. Not for the first time, she wished she was allowed a phone in her bedroom. Some privacy would be great. Carrie had a hot pink one in the shape of a purse. It was awesome.

“I’m not saying you have to forgive him,” Flynn said. “But maybe you should hear him out.”

From upstairs, Carlos’ voice called out. 

“Julie, get off the line already!”

“Wait your turn!” she yelled back, then groaned in irritation. “I gotta bounce. My brother wants to use the computer.”

“A’ight. Catch you later.”

They hung up and Julie leaned forward with a sigh. Flynn was right. She didn’t even know _why_ Luke had been late, or where he’d been, and it was going to bug her until she found out. If she was going to be second best, then she at least deserved to know what had beaten her out. Still, she didn’t really feel like facing Mrs Patterson right now. Or anybody who might ask her what was wrong; her dad had already spent most of the evening shooting her worried looks. Adults were too much right now. 

Screw it, she thought to herself. Live a little, Molina.

Luke was still wallowing when he was jolted by his thoughts by a clattering noise against his window. He bolted upright, staring at the glass, but there was nothing there. A second later, it happened again. _Clack. Clack._

Sliding off the bed, he headed towards it. As he reached the wall, the clattering noise happened again and he watched as two small stones ricocheted off the glass panes. He shoved it open without hesitation and stuck his head out, narrowly avoiding being hit with the next load of gravel.

“Julie?” he asked in amazement. “What the hell are you doing?”

Julie was standing on the Molinas’ side of the fence down in the yard, clutching a handful of stones and aiming them upwards with a determined look on her face. She dropped her throwing arm to her side when he appeared. 

“Can we talk?” she called up to him. 

If somebody had told Luke a month ago that Julie Molina would one day stand outside, throwing rocks at his window as if they were in some cheesy 80’s flick, he would have laughed himself stupid. After shrugging into a sweater, he braced himself and climbed down the tree to meet her. She stood there with her arms folded and expression guarded, before nodding for him to follow. 

They trudged their way around the yard and to the garage, heading into the studio in silence. Luke’s leg bounced in anticipation as they sat down and he fought back the urge to drum his fingers against his knee.

“Why’d you do it?” Julie asked at last.

There was no trace of the vicious annoyance from earlier. Only exhaustion tainted her tone now. Luke still flinched. The disappointment was worse than the anger had been. 

“Bobby got us an audition to play at _Helios_ ,” he said. “You know that club downtown all the big bands play at? It’s pretty hard to get on the lineup there… it was a last-minute thing. I thought we’d make it back in time. Obviously, I was wrong.”

They might have been on time, he thought, if the van hadn’t broken down _twice_ on the way back. He didn’t think this would be of much interest to Julie, though. 

“Look, Jules,” he said. “I really am sorry. You were right, what you said earlier, about us working together. We’re _great_. I shouldn’t have… I screwed up, okay? I know I did. But if you give me another chance, then I _swear_ on Kurt Cobain's grave that it will _never_ happen again.”

Her lips twitched. Hope soared inside him.

“You mean that?”

“I promise.”

She seemed to consider this for a moment. Luke shifted in his seat anxiously. Things more important than getting his mom off his back were riding on this, he realised all of a sudden. Here sat Julie, this bright, _amazing_ girl with a voice like an angel and the heart to match, who had given him a chance when he’d asked her for help and even stood waiting for him in the cold. Luke didn't know what he'd done to get someone so good in his life, but he would be damned if he let her go. No more risks. As long as she wanted him around, he’d be there.

“You know how I told you when my mom got sick I just stopped playing music?” she asked.

He nodded. 

“Well… it’s just that, with me and her, when we talked about me going away to college it was always about the music. Going to New York, getting into a good school with a good programme, you know, a future in composing or producing or whatever. She always gets so excited about it. And then we thought we were going to lose her, and I just… I didn’t know what to do anymore. It hurt to think about. The idea of going off and playing without her? I couldn’t do it. So I just stopped.”

His heart ached at the thought of Mrs Molina lying in a hospital bed, weak and tired, while her family looked on in worry. The world would’ve been a worse place without her in it. If he could see that, then he couldn’t imagine how Julie had felt going through it. 

“I almost lost music once,” Julie continued. “I’m lucky Mrs Harrison helped fight to keep my place in the class, or my chances of getting into a good college programme would be gone. I don’t wanna risk it again. I _can’t_. I promised my mom.”

Luke dropped his gaze. Shame welled up in his chest. He had been so busy thinking about himself these past few weeks that he hadn’t even stopped to consider why Julie was so intense about passing her classes in the first place. All this time, she’d had real reasons for falling behind and she’d fought to keep up anyway. Meanwhile, he’d been standing there scoffing at the idea of even going to homeroom. God, he was an idiot. 

“Thanks for telling me,” he said softly. “I meant what I said. It won’t happen again. And Julie, you are _so_ strong. You do know that, right? I can’t imagine going through all of that. I really am sorry.”

She gave him a weak smile.

“It’s okay. I might’ve overreacted… just a little.”

“Only a smidge. But I get why.”

There was a pause. Luke felt himself relax as the tension in the air began to slip away. After a moment, Julie looked at him with a curious expression. 

“Did you at least book the gig?” she asked.

All of that chaos for an audition that ended with basically being booted out the door. He grimaced. 

“I don’t think so.”

“Their loss.”

“That’s what I said.”

She knocked her knee against his in solidarity and they smiled at one another for a moment. It must have been a moment too long because Julie suddenly cleared her throat and looked away, brushing a loose curl back behind her ear. He wondered if she really believed what she’d said.

“Hey, so I know it’s not _Helios_ or anything but Carrie’s having a party at her place this weekend,” she said. “She wanted me to ask you guys if you’d be the entertainment, I mean if you wanted to.”

“She wants us to play?”

“I know, I know,” Julie said with a weary groan. “Sophomore party. You probably think it’s lame.”

“Why would we find it lame?” Luke asked. “Parties are fun. Especially at big houses. Doesn’t she live in the Hills? Anyway, we’ll play anywhere. Reggie loves a chance to peddle our merch. We’ve played at book clubs before.”

She eyed him suspiciously.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Middle-aged moms are our biggest fans.”

She snorted.

“Well, if you really will consider it I’ve been told there’ll be free beer and snacks.”

“Ooh, tempting.”

“Thought so,” she laughed. 

“I’ll talk to the guys,” he said. “They’ll say yes, but we just gotta make sure the van has gas in it.”

A few hours later, when Julie climbed out of the shower, she wandered back into her bedroom to find an ugly little Troll Doll with bright pink hair standing on her window ledge. Beside it, a small bundle of daisies (which had definitely been uprooted from somebody’s front yard, judging by the smudges of dirt at the end of the stems) had been left in a misshapen bouquet held together by a rubber band. She slid the glass panel up, careful not to jolt it too much and send the gifts flying. Across the way, Luke’s drapes had been drawn shut. 

  
  


Carrie Wilson’s house was a gated monstrosity surrounded by other gated monstrosities. White walls and columns stretched high into the deep purple evening, towering over Luke and his bandmates as they climbed out of the van to stare. Out the front, palm trees decorated in string lights lit the path up to the front door.

It wasn’t just the Wilson house that was impressive. Beverly Hills was a whole other world, as far as they were concerned. Luke and the boys looked around in awe. The houses here were three times the size of his parents’ dinky little two-bedroom. They all had perfectly kept green lawns with timed sprinklers moving in sync, and white picket fences or stone walls with security intercoms in place. It would’ve been totally Stepford if he didn’t know all the people who lived here wore sunglasses indoors and got spray tans three times a month.

“When we get famous,” Luke said. “If I ever go crazy and decide to get a place here, just put me out of my misery.”

“We’ll make sure to get you before you buy a Ferrari,” Alex said, patting him on the back.

The party was in full swing when they got inside. _Gangsta’s Paradise_ blared from the living room at the end of the entry hall, vibrating the walls. A couple of people were hanging out at the bottom of the stairs and they looked up in awe when the band entered. One of them got up and slipped into the living room, calling out for somebody. Luke hardly noticed, he found himself looking around for Julie. Just then, almost as though he’d willed her into existence, he heard her voice in the doorway.

“Hey! You made it!” she exclaimed.

Much to his surprise, he found himself with his arms full of her as she hugged him in greeting. Flowery perfume wafted through the air in a pleasant wave as her hair tickled his face. When she let go and stumbled back, he grabbed her by the waist to save her from falling into the wall, laughing as she went. Her friends giggled from the edge of the hall, watching the scene in amusement. She beamed at him. 

“And you’re not even late.”

“You got a head start on the drinks, huh?” Luke nodded to the red cup in her hand.

“We came over early to help Carrie set up,” Julie smiled. 

Unloading the van took much less time than usual. Rather than just themselves and Ashley, they had an army of helpers – a cluster of curious sophomores had appeared in the entryway and offered their services. Carrie and the girls had cleared a space in the living room for them to set up their gear. Luke sat on an amp, double-checking all his strings were in tune as Alex sound tested the drums. Those who were in the living room buzzed with anticipation. He looked up when he noticed a couple of girls in the corner watching him and winked, chuckling as they dissolved into giggles. There was a huff of amusement behind him and he turned to see Julie waiting there, holding out a beer.

“You’re an angel,” he crooned as he took it. 

“Yeah, yeah,” she rolled her eyes, smiling. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“Only the ones who’ve promised me free snacks.”

She laughed.

“There’s pizza in the kitchen.”

“Fucking rad.”

Julie opened her mouth to say something, but at that moment Ashley made an appearance. She strolled over to Luke, holding out his capo.

“You’re gonna need this at some point.”

“Thanks, dude,” he took it, beaming at her.

Her eyes flicked to Julie and back, and she cleared her throat with a meaningful look. Oh, right. 

“Julie, this is Ashley,” he said, gesturing between the two of them. “Ash, this is Julie. Ash is our official merch girl for tonight.”

“Selling t-shirts to drunk teenagers is my calling,” Ashley said drily, reaching over to shake Julie’s hand. 

Julie took it with an uncertain smile, glancing at Luke as she did. He frowned. She wasn’t usually shy. In fact, if he’d thought about it earlier the idea of Ash and Julie meeting was a chaotic one. They had similar energies. Give it a night and they’d be the best of friends, he was sure of it. 

“I like your shirt, Reggie!” one of Julie’s friends blurted. Kayla, Luke thought her name was. Her eyes widened and her face went red, and she ducked out of the room almost as soon as she’d spoken leaving Reggie standing there looking a mixture of confused and pleased. Bobby slapped him on the back, laughing heartily. Ashley smiled.

“Well, I’m gonna go get a drink,” she said, clapping her hands together awkwardly and nodding at Luke. “Have a good set.”

She smiled at Julie again before she went, who gave an awkward wave goodbye and then turned to Luke. 

“Break a leg,” she said, melting back to the front of the crowd that had gathered. 

Luke grinned at her but fumbled his pick. It was weird. Inexplicable nervousness scratched at him under Julie’s watchful gaze. He took one long gulp of beer then turned to look at the guys. 

“You ready?”

Alex grinned and lifted his sticks.

It was late. The party was dying down. Several people were already passed out in the living room, taking refuge on the couch or a spare patch of floor. Drinks cans and cups scattered every surface. Alex had already volunteered to help Carrie clear up – having spent a good chunk of the evening coming up with increasingly complicated dance routines together, the two of them had really hit it off. Luke left Reggie and Bobby talking to a couple of girls in the kitchen and wandered outside to find Julie. 

She was sitting alone at the edge of the pool, her toes dipped in the water, staring out over the glittering lights of Hollywood that stretched into the distance. He could see the goose pimples raised on her arms from here. Why wasn’t she wearing a jacket? It was barely over fifty degrees out here.

“You not cold?” he asked, settling down beside her and crossing his legs. 

She jumped, pulled from her thoughts by his presence, but she smiled when she saw him and her shoulders relaxed. Part of him wanted to lean sideways and pull her into his arms. He swallowed and looked away, admiring the pattern of blue tiles at the bottom of the pool.

“The water’s heated.”

True, it was warmer down on the floor. Steam spiralled up from the illuminated pool, evaporating into the cool night air. Above them, in spite of the orange light pollution spilling from below, the stars twinkled bright and endless. 

“How come you’re out here all by yourself?” he asked.

“Just needed some air.”

“Yeah, it got pretty crazy in there, huh?”

That was an understatement. The band’s set had been a roaring success – there was nothing like a house full of overexcited teenagers to make a party go wild. It was loud and energetic, people had danced so hard it shook the chandeliers on the ceiling, and at one point Luke had been genuinely concerned the police would get called. He suspected the only reason they hadn’t was because rich people had soundproofing and the neighbourhood was used to it. There had been no lack of conversation once they’d finished. He’d walked into the kitchen to grab some food, sweat still dripping down his neck and collarbones, only to be bombarded by about ten thousand questions. It had taken him nearly a full half an hour to eat one slice of pizza.

The band spent the rest of the night holding court on the couch. It was fun – there were kids from every grade hanging about and it had been pretty nice to catch up with some of his other friends as well.

“Crazy’s one way to put it,” Julie huffed in amusement. “God, I’m so tired."

She leaned into his side with a yawn and Luke gave in. He snaked an arm around her, hugging her close, capturing her hand in his own. This was a normal thing that friends did, right? Sometimes you just had to hold hands. For friendship reasons. And sometimes, because they were friends, it was important to note that her fingers fit perfectly between his. 

“Why do you wear so many rings?” she asked. 

“What? A dude can’t be into fashion now?”

“You and I have very different ideas of what constitutes fashion.”

Luke looked down at his hand. He only had two rings on at the moment, but they gleamed bright and obvious in the illumination from the pool. 

“You don’t like them?”

“I’m just teasing,” she laughed gently. “They suit you. Actually, I think you’d look weird without them.” 

“How so?”

“I don’t know, they’re just so… _Luke._ ”

What the hell did that mean? His lips quirked in amusement as he looked down at her, but Julie was still busy examining his fingers. After a moment, she reached over and poked at his necklace.

“What about this?”

“What about it?”

“You always wear it,” she pointed out. “It’s obviously important to you. What is it?”

With his free hand, Luke picked up the pendant at the end of the chain and held it up. The heavyweight polished rock which hung from it felt reassuring in his hand. He ran a finger over the smooth surface and handed it to her to look at. 

“Don’t laugh, okay?”

“Okay.”

“It’s a black moonstone,” he explained. “My mom bought for me when I was like, I dunno, thirteen? It’s supposed to protect you from negative energy or something.”

Julie wasn’t laughing. In fact, her face was dead serious as she turned the moonstone over in her hand.

“So it’s like your lucky charm?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“I like that,” she let it drop carefully and leaned back. “I have a lucky charm too, see?”

She held up her wrist. Several hand-braided string bracelets filled her wrists with a rainbow of vibrant colours.

“Flynn made them for me. She’s got a matching set… so we always know we’re not alone.”

“Alex tried making us friendship bracelets once,” Luke remembered. “But he got so stressed about them that we had to cut him off.”

They giggled together for a moment before lapsing back into silence. Luke realised suddenly that he’d been rubbing his thumb in circles on the warm skin of her arm and stilled. Awkwardness gripped him. He cleared his throat and stood up. 

“So are we going in?” he asked, nodding at the water.

Julie looked at him as though he were crazy, staring as he toed off his shoes and dropped his beanie on the ground.

“You’re not serious?” she asked.

As a heart attack, he thought. Luke winked at her, then pulled off his shirt and dived. It was like climbing into a really big bathtub. The world became a blur of pale blue and bouncing white light. Warm water lapped around him, filling his senses, and he kicked upwards, gasping for air as he surfaced, his jeans heavy against his legs. He took a deep breath, grimacing at the heavy scent of chlorine, and then turned around to grin at Julie.

“Should we talk about the fact you’re insane?” she laughed.“Or is that a conversation for later?”

“Hm,” he pretended to think about it, then sent a wave of water splashing at her. “Later, definitely later.”

She shrieked as the water hit her, sweet laughter colouring the air, and kicked out at him. He grabbed her ankle and gave her a menacing smile.

“Don’t you dare,” she warned, but it was too late.

She surfaced, spluttering, and took only a moment to push the sodden hair out of her eyes before jumping on him. They wrestled, Luke ending up caught between laughing and choking as he inhaled half the pool up his nose with Julie wrapped around his back. And when they finally calmed down, they ended up face-to-face and floating in the middle of the pool.

“You’re an idiot,” Julie declared. “You’re gonna have to sleep in wet jeans.”

He shrugged. Wet jeans were the least of his worries. He was mostly focused on the way her Cheshire-Cat smile made his heart race. 

“I’m pretty sure we have some spare clothes in the van.”

Julie’s curls were plastered to her skin. Water trickled down the side of her face, tiny rivulets running over her dimples and dripping down towards her neck. Glistening drops caught in her long eyelashes. They were so close to one another that Luke could count each one. He glanced at her lips, leaning forward.

“Are you two done?”

Luke wrenched himself back and looked up. Carrie and Alex stood at the backdoor watching the two of them in amusement. Guilt swept over Luke at once. He chanced a glance at Julie and found her expression calm. She hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary, then. That was good.

“We need help clearing up,” Alex said, raising his eyebrows at Luke.

“Just coming,” Julie beamed, heading for the side of the pool. 

Well, Julie might not have noticed anything weird, but he could tell he was going to have a meaningful conversation about it later in the van anyway. He sighed and began paddling to the edge. Alex and Carrie moved back inside ahead of them, and Luke remembered something he’d learned earlier.

“Hey, did you know Bobby is Carrie’s, like, second cousin or some shit?”

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

As fall deepened, Luke and Julie found themselves spending more and more time together. Since the party, it seemed that their friends were just as eager to hang out with one another as the two of them had been. They started going out as one big group. There were trips to the movies where Reggie would yawn-and-stretch until his arm was around Kayla and she blushed. They went bowling and laughed as Bobby and Carrie’s competitive streaks came out big time. The girls even came to see the band play a few times, waiting out by the van afterwards and talking to some of the other guys they knew on the scene. Luke was pleased, obviously. It meant he got to spend time with his best friends _and_ Julie, but there was just something a little frustrating about it too. The only time he got to spend with Julie alone anymore was during study sessions and practising for her composition piece. They didn’t have a lot of time to goof off alone, and he found himself distracted when they were working now.

It was one of those nights. Sitting at the Molinas’ kitchen table, Luke was antsy and tired. His leg bounced beneath the table, juddering it with every move, and Julie kept glancing up at him with an expression torn between amusement and annoyance. He smiled sheepishly back at her. What was wrong with him?

Finally, Julie leaned back, stretching her arms up as she cracked her neck and gave a wide yawn. Luke stared hard at the page in front of him — it was one thing to notice how pretty a girl was, it was another for his heart to start thumping double-time because of the way her hair fell across her shoulders when she rolled them. 

"I think we should take a break," she said.

He'd never closed a book quicker in his life. 

“You wanna go do something?” he asked, hopefully. 

An ice skating rink had been opened up downtown and they’d all been talking about heading down there at some point in the next couple of weeks. Luke had hoped that if he was quick enough, maybe he could convince Julie to go just the two of them. They could get hot chocolate and those weird roasted nuts that smelled like caramel or whatever and he could hold her hand as they fumbled their way around the ice.

It wouldn’t be a date or anything, just… it was a nice thought, okay?

Before she could answer, though, they were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening with a loud thud. Julie’s parents had taken Carlos to baseball practice and they weren’t meant to be home for at least an hour yet. There was a lot of rustling, a couple of bangs, and the two of them shared a look of deep confusion. 

“Yo, anyone home?” A voice called from the entryway.

Julie’s eyes lit up.

“In the kitchen, Willie!”

As the clattering grew closer, a tall figure appeared in the doorway and, despite his initial annoyance at being interrupted, Luke couldn’t find it in himself to be properly grumpy about it. Willie was windswept and covered in smudges of paint, his hair pulled up into a messy bun atop his head, and he headed straight for Luke with a lazy grin.

“Hey, Patterson!” he greeted, grabbing his hand and pulling him into what could only be described as a ‘bro hug’. “Long time no see! How’ve you been?”

Willie always brought with him an air of casual cheer that was impossible not to get pulled into. A few years back at school, Luke could remember idolising him just a little bit. He was one of the cool older kids that got called a delinquent by Mr Covington and made everyone in his class laugh. Alex’s crush was totally understandable. 

“Pretty good, dude,” Luke said. “I heard you’re back for good now, huh?”

“Oh yeah, college sucked ass, dude. I’m way better off out here, Julie’s mom has me hooked up with all these art nuts, it’s way cooler.”

See? If Willie could make a life for himself without college, why couldn’t Luke and the band? He thought about pointing that out to his own mom, but it seemed unlikely that she’d go for it. Willie’s style probably wasn’t exactly what she had in mind for her son.

“Hey, listen, Jules. You think it would be okay with your ‘rents if I crashed here tonight?” Willie asked. “I totally spaced and forgot my wallet earlier. No change for the bus.”

“Sure, dad’s had the guest room set up for you since you came home.”

“Great!” 

Willie gave her a thumbs up, beaming as he disappeared down the hall.

Luke turned to Julie.

“So you and Willie are pretty tight, huh?” Luke asked.

Julie nodded. “He’s kinda like my long lost big brother, you know what I mean? If he didn’t already have parents I think mine would’ve adopted him by now.”

Relief washed over him and he sat back.

“Do you know if he’s into guys at all?” 

She arched an eyebrow in surprise. 

“You got something to tell me?”

“Haha,” Luke said drily. “I was asking for Alex, actually.”

“Alex likes Willie? That’s so cute! I didn’t know they knew each other.”

Luke shrugged. 

“Pretty sure it’s more of a ‘pining from a distance’ sort of situation.”

Julie raised her eyebrows and he sat back, just watching the cogs turn in her mind. The curve of her lips caught his attention as a devious smile came over her face. 

“I’ve got an idea,” she said and turned in her seat. “Hey, Willie?”

There was a long pause and Willie’s head popped around the corner to look at them.

“‘Sup?”

“You wanna come ice skating with us this weekend?” Julie asked.

City council had turned one of the small parks downtown into an enchanting winter wonderland, complete with a large wooden grotto covered in fake cotton snow and strings of lights crisscrossing from all directions above them. Behind it, spread out like a long glistening white lake, a large ice rink had been constructed. Whoops of laughter filled the air accompanied by the occasional shriek or two, and it was covered with staggering adults and children, making the atmosphere one of infectious joy. 

"Sometimes I wish we lived somewhere it snowed," Julie mused as they were strapping up their skates. "When I was a kid all I wanted was to look out the window at Christmas and see snow falling from the sky. Like on a postcard, you know?"

It was cold enough by the rink that she could see her breath in the air. She marvelled at it while she pulled her gloves back on. 

“Oh, yeah?” Luke asked.

He smiled at her and she looked away hastily, feeling her breath catch in her throat. There was something about him today… she couldn’t put her finger on it. He just looked _good_. Brown hair poked out from beneath his lurid orange hat and his cheeks were flushed pink from the cold. It was maddening. All week this had been happening – they’d be having a perfectly normal day and suddenly Julie would notice something like the way he held his guitar pick between his teeth or how the muscles in his hands moved, or the stupidly endearing was he used a shoelace as a belt, and she’d lose her original train of thought. 

“Has it ever snowed in L.A?” Kayla asked. 

Reggie was helping her with her skates. It looked to Julie as though he was actually making more of a mess fumbling with the laces than anything, but it didn’t seem to bother Kayla. Every couple of seconds he’d look up and they’d beam at one another. Julie was man enough to admit it was a twinge of jealousy she could feel in her chest. 

“1962,” Alex chimed in. “My mom always talks about it this time of year.”

“Hey, mine too!” said Willie. “Does yours always bring up how the storm caused a blackout?”

“And all they had to light every candle they had?” Alex grinned.

“Dude!” Willie held up his hand for a high-five. “Our moms would be total bros!”

With a pleased flush across his cheeks, Alex smacked their hands together. For a moment, the two of them continue to stand there gazing at each other with dopey smiles on their faces. Then, Luke cleared his throat.

“So… skating?”

The rest of the group shook themselves from their trance, tearing their eyes away from the two boys.

“Right,” Julie said. “Skating!”

The ice was terrifying – that was the first thing Julie found out. She took a step forward and her stomach lurched as her foot immediately shot out from under her. Luke caught her by the arms, sending them both stumbling sideways into the wall with matching ‘oofs’. Luke smelled of fresh air and laundry detergent – home. Julie’s arms had flung themselves around his neck on instinct and she found herself leaning against him, heart pounding, with a nervous laugh.

“Guess I’m just not as coordinated on the ice as I am on the dancefloor,” she said, pulling back and steadying herself against the barrier. 

“We can figure this out,” Luke huffed, brow furrowed in determination. 

He took a wobbly step forward and immediately slipped sideways. His hand reached out to grab Julie’s, and he held tight to steady himself. She bit back a laugh and gave him a squeeze.

“Maybe we should stick together on this?” she suggested for no other reason than to keep holding his hand. This way would be more fun than fumbling along by herself anyway.

“Good plan,” he agreed.

They made their way around the ice in slow, halting movements, clutching at one another for support and giggling every time one of them got too confident and almost went flying. Ahead of them, Flynn and Carrie were gliding along with ease. Kayla was holding Reggie up as he flailed about and…

“Hey, look,” Luke nodded to the far corner.

Beneath a small archway of lights at the side, Alex and Willie stood huddled together with animated smiles on their faces as they talked. Fondness burned in Julie’s chest as she watched them. Willie looked just as smitten as Alex did.

“See?” she nudged Luke gently. “Told you this was a good idea.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolled his eyes. “You’re a genius. You wanna take a break? I can’t feel my face.”

Luke disappeared to find the nearest hot chocolate stand as Julie lined up to grab them some food from the grotto. The smell of fried food permeated the warm air inside and she took a deep breath in. Fall was her favourite time of year, there was no doubt about it, especially this close to Christmas. Everything from the jolly atmosphere to the assorted baked goods available made her want to sing. 

Thanking the boy behind the counter as he handed over her food, Julie turned to scan the crowd. After a moment, her eyes landed on Flynn. She was sitting over at one of the tables by the doorway, chatting with a small gaggle of girls who Julie recognised from their dance classes. Balancing the two baskets of food in her arms, she wound her way over to join them. They looked up in delight as she reached the table.

“One of those for me?” Flynn joked.

“Only if you want Luke to eat _you_ ,” Julie said, sliding into the seat next to her.

One of the girls – Beth – leaned forward with an interested gleam in her eyes. Julie shifted uncomfortably, realising they’d all turned their attention on her, and busied herself with her food.

“Luke as in Luke Patterson?” Beth asked. “The senior?”

“That’s the one,” Flynn confirmed, shooting an amused glance Julie’s way.

Dammit, Flynn.

“Wow. You guys have been spending a lot of time together lately. So what’s the sitch? Are you, like, dating?”

Julie choked on a fry. Flynn whacked her on the back, hard, until she’d stopped spluttering.

“No,” she gasped out. “No. Definitely not.”

“Oh,” Beth looked disappointed at the lack of gossip, but another one of her friends jumped in eagerly. 

“Do you know if he’s single then?”

A third girl rolled her eyes. 

“As if you’re gonna ask him out, Abby.”

“I might!” Abby turned her attention back to Julie. “So is he?”

A wave of envy caught Julie by surprise. She was well aware she had no right to feel possessive over Luke. They weren’t dating, in fact, they had barely even just begun being real friends. There was no way he felt that way about her, anyway. So why was she so bothered by the idea of him with another girl?

She shrugged.

“I have no idea.”

It was only a half-truth. She was pretty sure she’d have noticed if Luke was dating someone, he wasn’t the kind of person to keep that quiet from his friends, but she’d also seen the way he looked at Ashley. Envy bubbled back up again at the thought. Ashley was definitely Luke’s type… she had to be. She had that whole ‘beautiful punk girl’ vibe going with the blue streaks in her blonde hair, low-riding jeans and a ring in her lip. 

Much to her relief, Luke made his appearance a second later and put an end to the speculation over his relationship status.

“Hey, Luke,” Abby said shyly, gazing up at him through her lashes.

Julie tried to hide her annoyance. It wasn’t fair of her – Abby was a nice girl. She had every right to talk to Luke if she wanted to. Hell, _he_ might even want her to. 

“Oh, hey,” he smiled politely, then held out a takeout cup to Julie. “It’s that gross instant stuff that Reggie likes. Is that cool?”

Exchanging it for his tray of fries, Julie sighed and looked down at the cup in mock disappointment. The girls were watching in rapt awe, as though Julie and Luke were the newest reality show on MTV. She ignored them. Luke hadn’t even seemed to notice. 

“One day we’ll teach him what proper hot chocolate is like,” she said. 

He laughed and nodded to the back.

“C’mon, the others are waiting for us.”

“Okay, bye girls!” Julie smiled and pretended not to notice the smugness she felt as Abby glared daggers at her retreating back.

Luke should have known the peace couldn’t last. The past month or so had been one of blissful quiet in the Patterson household, aside from the occasional comment about the state of his room, complete with happy family meals and even watching television together. He had barely had to use his window lately, no sneaking out necessary to go and see Julie, and his mom had even relaxed about stuff with the band. As long as he made it back in time for dinner, and (obviously) didn’t cut more classes that she’d find out about, he was free to come and go to practice as he pleased. His mom hadn’t even brought up his grades in the past few weeks. One of his latest English essays, which had achieved a B+, was stuck to the fridge. The plan to ease his grounding had gone perfectly if he did say so himself.

Oh, if only he hadn’t grown so complacent.

He came home one evening to find her in the kitchen, going over something with a calculator at the table. The sound of the television wasn’t floating out from the living room yet, so he assumed his dad must still be at work. It was a normal day… or so he thought. Then he spotted them.

“What are those?” he asked, frowning at the pile of thick envelopes addressed to him on the table.

“College applications,” his mom said.

His jaw twitched. Even before he opened his mouth, he knew what he was about to say was a mistake, but he just couldn’t help himself.

“For who?”

You’d have thought the kitchen had exploded from the way things went up in smoke. Looking back on it in the future, Luke would cringe in regret over the words that were exchanged. He said things he didn’t mean at all, lashing out in spiteful anger, and her words stabbed at him like knives. Of all the times he and his mom had fought, this argument had to be the worst. He couldn’t take it anymore.

So he left.

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

There was a lot of noise coming from over in the Patterson house. Julie stood frozen in the driveway, still clutching the trash bag she’d been heaving outside, staring at their neighbours’ front door. The raised voices were muffled, but unavoidable. She flinched at some of the clearer words. 

“I’m not going to stand here and let you throw your whole future away, Luke! As long as you’re under my roof, then you’ll do things my way!”

“Fine!”

The front door slammed open and Julie caught sight of Luke coming down the steps, guitar slung over his back as he headed straight for his bike. She dropped the bag of trash at once and raced forward.

“What are you doing?” she demanded.

Luke froze in place. Mrs Patterson had appeared in the doorway, anger having faded into worry which lined her face, looking frantic. Relief flooded her expression when she spotted Julie, clutching a hand to her chest. Julie looked between her and her son, pleading silently.

Luke dropped the bike. 

Oh, thank God, she thought to herself as he turned and stalked towards the Molinas’ house. Julie shot what she hoped was a reassuring look to Mrs Patterson, who was still hovering in the doorway and followed him quickly. She had never seen Luke angry before. Sure, she’d seen him rant in irritation at the lack of appreciation for ‘real’ rock music once or twice, and she’d seen him grumpy from nights of too little sleep, but this was something else altogether. Fury radiated from him in waves.

They ended up out on the porch together. Julie brought him a mug of hot chocolate, the thick rich kind that her Abuela always made when she came to visit, and he clutched it to his chest as though it was a lifeline. It was weird to see Luke so troubled. Oftentimes, in the face of his carefree attitude and general recklessness, it became easy to forget he had problems too.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asked tentatively. 

Luke wiped at his red-rimmed eyes. Julie wasn’t sure whether she wanted to look away and give him privacy or lean forward and pull him into her arms. After a moment of deliberation, she chose the latter. Nobody should go without a hug when they were this sad, she thought. Luke went easily, leaning into her shoulder with a sniff, and she ran a hand up and down his back. 

“I always thought,” he started, then paused to take a deep shaking breath. “I don’t know, maybe it’s dumb, but I always figured if I could just _show_ her that we can do it. That I’ll be okay, then maybe she’d realise…”

He sighed.

“She just wants me to ‘go to college and get a stable job’. That’s what she always says. And every time I try to talk to her about it we end up screaming at each other. She just won’t _listen._ ”

“Do you really think running away is the answer?”

He shrugged one tired shoulder and stared at across the empty street. People had started decorating their houses now and the concrete road was bathed in flashing red and green lights. It had seemed magical earlier, but now it just felt wrong. 

“I _know_ the band can make it,” he said fiercely. “We’ve got the talent. We’ve got the drive. If she would just give me a chance… I mean, if we had some room to work… god, we don’t even have a place to practice at the moment. No one believes we can do it.”

“I do,” Julie said quietly. “I believe in you. So does Flynn, and Carrie and Kayla, and all those kids who go see you play all the time. You’re right, Luke, you _will_ make it. You’ve just got to give it some time.”

“We’ll never have time if she makes me go to college,” he muttered.

“She’s just trying to look out for you. I know it sucks, but that’s what moms do.”

“I bet your mom wouldn’t try to stop you from being in a band.”

That was true, but only because it would have made her a giant hypocrite. Julie told him as much.

"You know, my mom was in a punk band," Julie said. "Three, actually. She used to work at The Orpheum downtown too."

The Orpheum. That was the kind of venue a person like Julie could only dream of playing. Sometimes she was a little bit jealous of her mom’s tenacity when it came to achieving her dreams. Julie was by no means a wallflower, but she wasn’t the rebel that Rose had been in her youth. She had too much of her dad’s softer side in her for that. Luke, though… Luke was the kind of ‘take no shit, don’t ask just do, make your own rules’ person perfect for getting _Sunset Curve_ where they needed to be. She admired his force of will. 

He looked up, his troubled expression melting into interest. 

"For real? That's pretty sweet. Is that how you got into music?"

She nodded.

“She taught me everything I know… you know, I bet if your mom talked to her she’d be able to help you out. Y’know, she could reassure her and stuff? They’re pretty good friends now.”

Luke considered it.

“You think that would work?”

Julie shrugged.

“It’s always worth a shot. Won’t know until we try.”

They sat there for another few minutes in contemplative silence. Luke’s body was warm and solid, pushed up against hers. If it weren’t for the heaviness of the night’s topic, Julie would have been happy to sit there forever.

“Hey, Jules?” Luke murmured quietly.

“Mm?”

“Thanks.”

Julie just held him tighter.

The morning after the argument, Luke left the house early to avoid confrontation. When he’d gone back inside that night he’d headed straight upstairs and gone to bed, too tired to deal with the weird tension that held steady in the air. They would have to deal with it sooner or later, but if he could then he’d push later back as far as he could.

It was a Sunday and he really didn’t have any place to go, so he spent the early hours of the morning with his hands shoved in his pockets to keep them warm and wandering around a nearby park while the sun began to peek over the horizon. When it was finally what he figured must be a reasonable hour, he slid into a payphone and dug some change out of his wallet to call Alex. His dad answered, barking irritably down the hall for his son as soon as he realised who was calling, and there was a lot of rustling as Alex came to grab the phone from him.

“Are you okay?” he asked immediately.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Luke replied.

“Because it’s seven in the morning and you’re awake. Unless you never went to sleep, that means something’s up. So what’s up?”

Luke _had_ barely gotten any sleep, but at least he’d been home. More than once in the summer, he’d slept on a bench in the park to avoid going home. He suspected last night might have ended up being much of the same, only more unpleasant with the drop in temperature if Julie hadn’t intervened. 

“Nothing,” he sighed. “Just… a fight with my mom. It’s cool though.”

“Oh. You want me to come over?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen.”

Luke was sitting on the curb when Alex arrived. He pedalled around the corner at twice the speed necessary and only began to slow to a halt when he spotted him. Kicking out the stand, Alex leaned forward on the handlebars and looked around at the empty street.

“You didn’t wanna wait somewhere warmer?”

Luke shrugged, unable to disguise the sorry expression on his face, and picked at the frayed laces of his chucks. The tips of his fingers had gone numb – Julie had made fun of him just a couple of nights ago for sticking his thumbs through ripped holes at the ends of his sleeves instead of just buying a pair of gloves. At the time he’d mocked her back, but now it felt like she might actually have a point.

“Nowhere else to go.”

“You could’ve come over?”

“Didn’t wanna cause any trouble.”

Alex snorted in disbelief. 

“As if. Trouble's your middle name, and–" Alex opened his mouth to keep arguing, but the quietness of the street around them was disrupted by the sound of wheels running along concrete and his jaw snapped shut immediately, his attention lost. Luke looked around to see what he was staring at and smirked.

“Yo, Willie!” Luke called.

“Luke, n– oh my God.”

Willie had rolled right up to the curb, preparing to head for the Molinas’ porch, and he turned around at the sound of the shout. Luke waved wildly, wolf-whistling as Willie began walking towards them with a wide smile on his face. His hair billowed behind him in the breeze. Alex gulped audibly. 

“You’re gonna wake everyone up,” he grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down at his feet.

“Take a chill pill,” Luke murmured happily, and then called out to Willie. “Lookin’ good, bro.”

“Not too bad yourself, dude,” said Willie, giving Luke a sideways hug and slapping him on the back in greeting. “What’s up, guys?! How’s it going? Didn’t expect to see you out here so early.”

"We're all good," Luke said. "Just chillin', y'know?"

Willie looked between them both uncertainly, but obviously decided it wasn't his place.

“Carlos has a baseball game later,” he nodded to the house. “We’re all gonna go watch. See?”

He tugged up his hoodie to display a white shirt with **_‘Molina 14’_ ** written on the back in black paint and rhinestones. Luke smiled. He could recognise Julie’s handiwork anywhere. 

“Man, we should get her to make us some for the band,” Alex said after Luke pointed this out. “It’s way better than our designs.”

“Oh yeah,” Willie flashed his pearly teeth at Alex, who blushed. “Julie’s a great artist. If she didn’t love music so much I’d totally get her to come help us at the rec centre.”

Luke glanced between the two of them, torn between making a funny face at Alex for embarrassment purposes and helping him out. After a moment of deliberation, he decided to be charitable about it. Alex had come to find him this morning, after all. 

“You know, we’re gonna be recording a demo soon,” said Luke. “We’re gonna need a design for the cover. You think that’d be something you’re into?”

Willie’s delight was brighter than the sunrise. 

“Hell yeah!” he enthused. “I saw y’all play a couple months back. You guys rock. When’s your next show gonna be? I got a couple of friends who wanna hear you again. Pretty sure I’ve got a bootleg tape of one of your shows somewhere.”

“Whenever we next book a gig,” Alex shrugged, aiming for a casual air which was somewhat disrupted by the way Luke’s eyes widened in excitement.

“Someone bootlegged our show? _Awesome_.”

They lapsed into silence for a moment, Luke caught up in a sudden whirlwind of thoughts about building a fanbase, and Alex shivered beneath the thin cotton of his sweatshirt. Willie noticed and frowned.

“You guys coming in?” he nodded to the front door. “C’mon. They won’t mind. The Molinas love having guests.”

Despite the early hour, the house was already a frenzy of activity. The radio was on, spitting out a fuzzy traffic report, and Mr and Mrs Molina were eating breakfast at the kitchen table when they walked in. Apparently, as Willie explained, Carlos had a big game in a couple of hours that everybody was going to. Game days were a big thing in the family. Carlos himself was half asleep over a bowl of milk. He looked around as they trudged in, face lighting up.

“Oh, good morning boys,” Mrs Molina greeted them as if she was used to a herd of teenage boys trooping through her door at the crack of dawn on the weekend. “Are you here for Julie? She’s not up yet.”

“I’ll go get her,” Carlos announced, sliding off his seat and bouncing towards the stairs.

“Sorry to intrude,” Alex started, but they waved him off happily.

“It’s always nice to see you, kids,” Mr Molina said. “You’re welcome here anytime. Don’t worry about intruding.”

He made eye contact with Luke as if he said it. Luke had the sneaking suspicion that Julie might’ve told her parents what had happened last night.

“Sit down, sit down,” Mrs Molina ushered them all into seats. “Have you boys eaten? We’ve got more than enough to go around if not. Willie, we got that cereal you like. It’s in the cabinet.”

Julie came trudging in a few minutes later, hair pulled back into a haphazard half-do and sleep-gunk crusting her eyes. She’d shoved her glasses on lopsided and her huge slippers flopped against the floor as she walked. Luke immediately felt more cheerful. Carlos evidently hadn’t warned her that they had guests because she stopped in the doorway, staring at them in confusion, and then her eyes narrowed as he cackled and slipped past her to return to his chair.

“Morning,” Luke said, lifting the coffee Willie had just poured him in greeting.

Too tired to be surprised by their presence, Julie mumbled something unintelligible and stalked towards the cabinets to rummage through them. She emerged clutching a box of Poptarts and Luke watched as she shoved them into the toaster, prodding at it grumpily. He bit back a laugh. She was pretty funny in the morning. Note to self, he thought, the early hours were not for Julie.

Alex excused himself to borrow the phone and Reggie showed up on the doorstep ten minutes later with Bobby in tow. He tried to excuse himself and Luke, stating that Bobby had the van and they could go now, but Julie’s parents weren’t having it. They soon found themselves all crammed in around the table, perched on chairs stolen from the dining room, eating eggs and talking over one another. It was kind of nice, Luke thought when Julie settled down in the seat beside him, to have a big family breakfast. He didn’t often get to eat with his parents – their schedules were all too different and it usually ended up in a disagreement anyway – but even when he did it didn’t feel like this. 

“Are you Julie’s boyfriend?” Carlos asked at one point, watching Luke steal a slice of bacon from Julie’s plate.

His fork slipped. Julie spluttered over her coffee.

“Wha–” she huffed, wide awake all of sudden. “Carlos! No!”

Behind his newspaper, Mr Molina’s shoulders were shaking with laughter. Alex and Bobby exchanged an amused glance. Luke kind of wanted to drown himself in his orange juice. Perhaps sensing his embarrassment, Mrs Molina jumped in to divert the topic. He gave her a grateful smile. Julie’s face remained bright red as she stared hard at her food.

So,” she said conversationally, looking over the table at the boys. “I hear your band needs a practice space.”

Luke shot a look at Julie, but she was still pretending to focus on her breakfast. Her lips twitched. He nudged at her ankle under the table. She kicked back.

“Yeah,” Bobby confirmed forlornly. "We tried using the music room at school but the choir kicked us out. Jerks."

Mrs Molina hid a fond smile, pouring herself a fresh cup of coffee and humming in agreement. Luke waited for the other shoe to drop.

“Well, I was thinking… if Julie doesn’t mind sharing, maybe you could use my old studio since I’m never in there anymore. It’s got a lot of space. You could keep your instruments in there.”

“...are you serious?”

“We don’t have any money, though,” Alex jumped in quickly, but Mrs Molina laughed.

“Free of charge,” she said. “As long as you guys are willing to help me out in the yard sometimes. I never remember to change the porch light and Ray's no help. He doesn't have the hands for DIY."

"I'm a camera guy, not a tools guy," Mr Molina agreed, giving his wife a loving smile

Luke looked away, feeling almost as though he was intruding on something private, and raised his eyebrows at Julie instead. She was refusing to meet his eye. Hmm. He had a sneaking suspicion that it hadn’t actually been Mrs Molina’s idea in the first place.


	10. Chapter 10

Even in the absence of snow, Los Angeles felt magical as winter fell. Lights went up all over the city and Jack Frost bit at the skin of those who wandered on cold evenings. For Julie and Luke, the season brought both great joy and a lot of stress. The holidays were upon them before they knew it, and with the last few days of school before winter vacation came the Sophomore Student Showcase. 

“I’m gonna throw up,” said Julie.

Behind the drawn red curtains of the stage, the audience buzzed in anticipation. she peered out at them from the wings. Her parents had managed to snag some seats in the second row, Carlos sat between them fiddling with his Game Boy, and she felt her nerves skyrocket. What if she messed up? What if her voice broke? What if she humiliated herself in front of this entire hall full of people? 

It had been over a year since she’d performed in front of a crowd like this. She felt sick.

“I’ve got the bucket ready,” Flynn replied.

“Just take a deep breath,” Luke soothed her, elbowing Flynn out of the way as she smirked. “We’re gonna rock it.”

Carrie and Kayla were perched on a set of prop furniture that had been pushed to the side, helping stressed performers put the final touches on their makeup and outfits. It wasn’t even their job, they just liked to meddle. 

“You guys have done this a thousand times,” Carrie huffed. “Chillax, okay? Luke’s right. You’ve got this.”

“Exactly,” Luke patted her shoulder. “Just don’t look now.”

“What?” Julie whipped around just in time to see Alex, Reggie, Bobby and Willie shuffling their way along the row towards her parents. Oh no. Oh, no, no. 

“Did you invite them?!” she hissed.

“Dude, they invited themselves! You think I could stop them?” 

Great. Now she was going to humiliate herself in front of a room full of strangers _and_ all of her friends. Even Luke’s gentle touch on the small of her back wasn’t enough to distract her from it. 

“Are you guys ready?” Mrs Harrison asked, clapping her hands as she appeared behind them. “You’re almost up!”

On the other side of the curtain, the hall began to fall quiet. 

“Now welcoming Julie Molina performing an original song, accompanied by Luke Patterson,” boomed a voice overhead. The audience clapped. She didn’t hear it. 

Julie swallowed. Another wave of nausea rolled through her stomach. With a fleeting touch to her elbow, Luke Her footsteps echoed through the hall as she headed for the piano. The walk across the stage felt endless. 

From his place behind the microphone, Luke winked. She gave him a weak smile and slid into place behind the grand piano. He looked nice tonight, she could at least appreciate that a little underneath all the anxious thoughts. He’d combed his hair and put on a dark button-down shirt (something she hadn’t even believed he’d owned and suspected he’d stolen from one of the guys). It suited him. 

Focus, Julie.

When Luke began to strum, her vision narrowed down to the sheets in front of her. It was just a precaution, she could play this song in the dark if she wanted too by now, but the sight of them was a small comfort. His voice followed, silky and soft as it drifted through the air. Julie chanced one more glance at the crowd. Her mom’s face stood out like a beacon. Pride radiated from her. In a state of visceral clarity, she realised how easily they could’ve lost this. Moments like these, nights that she would remember for the rest of her life, were the kind she and her mom had worked to share with one another. 

_Raise your voice_ , her mom’s voice echoed through her mind.

Shoulders back, chin up. Julie took a deep breath, placed her hands on the keys, and began to sing. It was as though she was watching it happen from afar; the two of them on stage, lights dimmed to focus, their voices rising and falling through the hall in harmony. 

_I can do this_ , she thought. _I’m doing this._

Luke was not one to stay still when he was playing, even for a show like this. When Julie caught his eye, he always already halfway to the piano, fingers plucking at his strings as though they were an extension of him and his gaze locked with hers. There was a second of hesitation, maybe two, then Julie allowed herself to get swept away with the music.

This would be the last time they played this duet together, she realised. A melancholy haze hovered over the thought. It might even be the last time they played together at all.

Applause roared through the auditorium as the final notes died. Making an almost absurd amount of noise, the crowd rose to their feet in a standing ovation and Julie ducked her head with a pleased smile as her parents whooped for her.

“That was fantastic, guys,” Mrs Harrison gushed proudly as the two of them walked off the stage. “You’ll be the stars of the showcase this year, no doubt. Well done. I hope you’re pleased.”

Julie let out a noise of relief, the rolling in her gut only just beginning to subside, and smiled up at Luke as he slipped an arm around her.

“It’s all thanks to Luke,” she said. “If he hadn’t jumped in to help I would’ve been lost.”

“Pfft, oh please. You did all the heavy lifting,” he rebuffed. “I just did what you told me.”

Mrs Harrison shook her head with a barely suppressed twitch of amusement at her lips.

“Either way, you should both be proud of yourselves. I’d say that was easily an A+ performance, Julie. I look forward to seeing what you come up with for your next project.”

Everyone else piled backstage as soon as the show was over. Having relaxed, Julie found she could enjoy the rest of the performances. Most students were performing single or group compositions as their piece rather than a duet and she looked on in awe as one by one they took the hall by storm. Their school had some real talent – it brought her a strange sense of pride. 

Her parents and Carlos pulled her into a tight hug as soon as they saw her and Julie finally allowed herself a little moment of relief from all the panic and stress. She melted as her mom stroked her hair, absolutely ecstatic for her.

“That was so good, Mija,” she said. “You did so well.”

“I can’t believe I have the most talented kids on the planet,” her dad added, kissing her on the forehead. “You really wrote that all yourself?”

Luke hovered off to the side, apparently trying not to intrude, but couldn’t avoid the strong arms of Julie’s mom when she spotted him and pulled him in for a hug too. He almost looked embarrassed as she gushed over him, clearly unused to this level of excitement. Julie watched in amusement as he shuffled his feet, grinning. 

“Your mom will be so proud,” she said, turning to scan the room. “Where is she… hmm, she said she’d meet us– ah! There she is!”

Luke frowned in confusion.

“My mom?”

But there was no time for further explanation. Mr and Mrs Patterson had already arrived, pushing through the crowd of congratulatory parents and friends with tentative smiles on their faces. Shock overtook Luke’s expression like a grey cloud on a sunny day.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” he said, dumbfounded. 

“Rose got us the extra tickets,” Mrs Patterson explained as she patted his arm. “And I’m glad she did. You were fantastic, sweetheart.”

“You liked it?”

“Of course! I wish you’d have told us...”

Julie’s parents turned to the side and busied themselves with speaking with the parents of Julie’s nearby classmate who’d performed just after her. In an attempt to avoid eavesdropping on the Pattersons herself, she stepped back to look for her friends. She didn’t have to look far. The girls had been lurking by the wall as they waited for Julie’s family to finish fawning over her and when she turned it was to find that they’d been joined by the Sunset Curve boys and Willie.

“That was so rad, Julie,” Reggie beamed, holding out a thick bouquet of roses. “I didn’t know you could sing like that!”

“You totally crushed it,” Alex agreed.

Julie looked down at the flowers. Attached to the stems was a small green card which read **_‘For Julie, love Sunset Curve (+Willie)’_ **with a little smiley face drawn on one side. Her throat went tight. It was strange how, in just a couple of months, these ridiculous boys had become such a big part of her life. They were so sweet and supportive. She adored them for it.

“Oh, guys,” she said, embarrassed to note how thick her voice sounded. “You didn’t have to–”

“Dude, you got us a practice space,” Bobby stopped her. “It’s the least we can do… your not allergic, right?”

“Guys, c’mon!” Flynn was pulling away from the wall as Luke joined the group, gesturing to them wildly. “We’re gonna get pizza!”

Julie dropped her voice low as he reached her side, eyeing him warily. There was that confused crease in his forehead again – she wondered desperately what was going on in his mind.

“You okay?” she asked.

He just nodded, smiling when she squeezed his hand in reassurance and moved forward to join in the enthusiastic high-fives his friends were offering him. 

Getting home was a chaotic affair involving payphone calls to various parents, Bobby’s insistence that his van was perfectly fit to run everybody home (it wasn’t – Carrie put her foot down on the matter), and goodbyes that lasted half an hour before they all stopped lingering on the sidewalk and actually left. Stuffed full with pizza, but still feeling as though he could eat another, Luke slid an arm around Julie and laughed as they watched Reggie attempt to jump over a parking meter on their way back down the street. 

It had been a good night, he felt giddy from the laughter and the pride of helping Julie succeed, but there was a bittersweet tinge to it all. He clutched her closer under his arm and let her slide a hand into his pocket with a smile – Julie was a better guard against the cold than the scarf his mom had tried to force on him earlier.

As Reggie and Alex peeled off for their own houses, Luke and Julie ended up walking the last few blocks together. It felt good to be alone finally, but it seemed in the quiet that the bittersweet tinge grew stronger, and there was an unusual heaviness in the air between them. He could tell they were thinking the same thing.

They’d both held up their ends of the bargain; Luke was passing classes, he had his guitar, and Julie had aced her performance. Business transaction complete. End of story.

“So…”

“...so…”

He didn’t want it to be ‘end of story’. The past few weeks had been the best of his life. He didn’t want it to end at all. 

“You know I got a B on my last chem test,” Luke said conversationally, thinking they should at least talk about it. “That’s all thanks to you.”

Julie made a reproving noise and shook her head. 

“You should really give yourself more credit. You worked hard for that too.”

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t have if you didn’t bully me into it. C’mon, we both know it’s true.”

“Still,” she huffed. “Anyway, it’s thanks to you that I didn’t fail my music project. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Luke hummed. 

“...well, I am pretty great.”

She stepped on his foot, laughing, and the conversation was waylaid for a moment as they tussled. Their giggles floated through the hushed streets of the suburbs, filling every footstep and making him feel as though they were off in their own little world. There was nothing to disturb them, no disapproving looks or parents to tell them to behave, no one could touch them here. When they’d finally calmed down, both breathless from laughter and falling back into step beneath the glow of the streetlights, Julie broached the topic he’d been dreading most.

“I guess we don’t need to rehearse together anymore.”

There was an edge of melancholy to her sigh, something almost like reluctance, and Luke couldn’t help feeling as though it sounded way too close to a goodbye. It gnawed at him. Of course, they could always still hang out. Hell, they definitely wouldn’t be lacking in chances now that their friends had all merged into one chaotic group, but it wasn’t really the same. Those specific moments with Julie, the afternoons alone in her mom’s studio where he got to listen to her sing and watch her scrawl fresh lyrics across doodle-ridden pages, the nights spent pretending to read textbooks while playing footsie under the table… they would be gone. He didn’t want them to be gone. There weren’t enough of them as it stood.

If his bandmates had heard what he was about to say, they wouldn’t believe it. Luke didn’t even believe it. God, he was so whipped.

“I mean… we could still be study partners if you wanted?”

Julie did a double-take, almost tripping over a loose paving stone. He caught her and they came to a halt on the dark sidewalk. There was a pause. 

“ _You_ still want to study together?” she raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “You, Luke Patterson, _want_ to keep studying?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he huffed as she laughed. “Shut up. I just… I like spending time with you, okay?”

She stopped laughing and looked up at him with wide eyes. He swallowed involuntarily. It always caught him off guard when she looked at him like that – her eyes were so beautiful. He got lost in them. 

“Really?”

He nodded.

“I like spending time with you too, Luke,” she admitted, turning away to continue their walk. He didn’t miss the small smile on her face, nor the way it grew as he captured her hand in his and intertwined their fingers. They were dancing dangerously close to something he didn’t have a name for just yet, and she obviously knew it too. 

“Hey, we should celebrate,” he suggested lightly. “You wanna go to the Christmas Carnival when it opens up?” 

Julie hummed in consideration, nodding her head. 

“You want me to call Flynn and get her to spread the word?”

“I was thinking it could be just the two of us. If you wanted?”

If Luke could’ve taken his usual bravado that came with booking gigs and applied it to that moment, he would have, but instead, he found himself desperately trying to mask the nervous undertone to the question. Did she notice? Would she think it was weird?

“I– oh,” the tightness in his chest unwound at the pleased tone of her voice. “Okay. Sure, just the two of us.”

Just the two of them. It was gonna be perfect.

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

This was impossible. A pile of pants and blouses lay scattered at Julie’s feet. She had never put much thought into what she wore around Luke before, but while getting ready to leave for the carnival she had found herself staring at the inside of her closet with mounting panic. In the end, she’d called Flynn, who had called Carrie, who (being the only one whose parents didn’t mind the extra cents on the phone bill) had patched Kayla in to make it a three-way call and the three of them had come rushing over. This was a code red, they said. 

“I can’t believe you’re _finally_ going on a date,” Carrie said. She was sprawled across Julie’s bed with a magazine in hand, amusing herself with a quiz on which fall outfit would suit her best. She’d been less than helpful in the search for clothes, but more than willing to offer up every thought on Luke and Julie’s relationship, much to Julie’s chagrin. 

“It’s not a _date_ ,” Julie insisted. “It’s just… two friends hanging out. Alone. To celebrate their joined success.”

Carrie shot her an unimpressed look.

“Didn’t you say he specifically wanted it to be just the two of you though?” Kayla piped up. “I don’t know, Jules. That doesn’t seem very ‘just-friendish’ to me.”

“...yeah, I know,” she sighed.

The girls laughed. It was crazy, Julie thought, just how they’d reached this point. Only a couple of months ago, Luke had just been her semi-annoying neighbour and occasional ally at family barbecues. Now when she looked at him she got butterflies and her hands started to sweat. And now he wanted to hang out just the two of them? What was she meant to do with that?

“I just don’t want to read too much into it.”

“Please,” Flynn snorted. “It’s kind of impossible not to notice how Luke looks at you. There’s no way any of us are reading too much into this… girl, this is a _date_.”

That only made her more nervous. She glanced at the floor again. Was there even an outfit he hadn’t already seen her in? 

Not wanting Luke to look in and witness the bomb-site of clothes her room had become, Julie had closed the drapes. Flynn peered through the gap looking about as subtle as a flying elephant.

“Light’s on,” she said. “But I can’t see him. What time are you going?”

“He said he’d knock at like seven,” she said, her eyes flicking to the clock. “So… I’m gonna guess he’ll show at like seven-ten?”

“Checks out,” Flynn nodded and clapped her hands. “Okay, so we have forty-five minutes to turn you into a princess, Cinderella. Let’s get going. Chop, chop.”

The Christmas Carnival was immense. It was as though somebody had puked up Christmas all over the neighbourhood. In the past five minutes, Luke had seen no less than seven different Santas, three elves, and two actual live reindeer. At the entrance, there was a carolling choir serenading passersby with _Deck The Halls_ as they bought their tickets. It seemed to be half circus half farmer’s market. Little streets had been constructed lined with festive wooden shacks selling ornaments, handmade soaps and preserves. Distant music drifted from overhead speakers every few yards. The mouth-watering scent of fried dough and caramel permeated the air around them.

It was impossible to avoid the merriment in the air. Christmas had arrived and they were involved whether they liked it or not. Julie looked right at home. He already knew Christmas was her favourite time of year – her whole family was nuts about it. The Molinas’ house had become an explosion of festivities over the past few days. Mr Molina, it seemed, had a soft spot for the holiday that bordered on obsessive. He had come home one afternoon with Carlos and Willie in tow, tugging the largest Christmas tree Luke had ever see from the roof of the car and into the hall. A round wreath hung on their door filled with bright red bows and frosted pinecones. Mrs Molina even turned it up a notch with her baking, which Luke hadn’t thought possible, and she taught him how to make a raspberry cream cake while Julie helped her dad string the staircase bannisters with twinkling lights.

“So what did your mom say about the showcase?” Julie asked as they wound their way through the fayre. “You never told me.”

Oh, that. Up until that moment, Luke had been focusing on the way he and Julie’s hands kept brushing but never stopped to meet while they walked. He had known she’d want to talk about it at some point – there had been hints all week – but he’d managed to avoid it so far. It wasn’t that he didn’t like talking to Julie about feelings, he did, it was easy, but for some reason talking about his feelings when it came to things with his mom was so _weird._ He almost felt guilty for it.

Luke hummed, thinking back to the night of the show.

“She basically told me our performance was really good and that she was proud of me,” he said, then added, “It was really… I don’t know, weird.”

Luke was used to such dissonance between himself and his mother that he’d forgotten what it felt like to have her beam with pride over something he’d done. If he was totally honest, though he was still adamant that she could loosen up a little, he _could_ admit it was at least a little bit his own fault. He had taken to purposefully lashing out in rebellion over the past few years. Freedom was addictive and it fueled his tastes. It was strange to see eye to eye on something, especially when that something was to do with music.

“She’s good for you, that Julie,” his mom had said, patting his arm with a warm smile. “It’s nice to see you so happy.”

She appeared to be under the impression that this whole time his nights out with his friends had been just that. Nights out. Studying and pizza and watching movies in a group. He wasn’t about to correct her. After all, most of them were. If band practice and busking were scattered in between along with the odd party then it made no difference. What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. 

“That’s pretty good, eh?” Julie nudged him. “Maybe she’ll come see the band play at some point.”

Unable to help himself, Luke barked out a laugh.

“No way.”

“Why not?”

“She only approved of the showcase because you were there, Jules,” he said. “And it was like… school stuff, y’know? Not rock ‘n roll. She doesn’t _get_ the whole rock thing. She thinks it’s like a gateway to drugs and booze and prostitution or something.”

Julie scoffed.

“Oh, c’mon. She can’t be _that_ bad. She bought you the guitar in the first place, didn’t she?”

“And she totally regrets it now.”

“She does not.”

“How would you know?” Luke laughed, elbowing he gently. “Besides, can you imagine her at a gig? It’s not her scene. She and my dad are like… I don’t know. Smooth jazz kinda people. They wouldn’t like it.”

“I think maybe you should try giving them some more credit.”

He raised his eyebrows. She could be right, sure, maybe Luke could give his parents the benefit of the doubt, but the second he even thought about it the memory of his mom’s face the night that he and the boys had been picked up by the cops came flooding back, along with every face accompanying every screw-up since. In his mom’s world, rock’n’roll was leading to Luke’s downfall, his corruption, and she was trying to save him. It was like she wore the opposite of rose-tinted glasses when it came to his music. Grey-tinted glasses. Or a straight-up blacked-out blindfold. 

“There’s just no way,” he said again, shaking his head.

Julie sighed, but she let it go. 

The carnival had been a genius idea. They spent the evening messing around, bouncing from stall to stall and ride to ride, having such a good time that Luke got a stitch in his side at one point. They got more terrible hot chocolate from a stand that smelled like heaven, then churros from a van around the corner, and Luke took the opportunity to stop Julie in her tracks so that he could wipe the stray chocolate sauce from the corner of her mouth with his thumb. 

On the Ferris wheel, she snuggled into his side and he held her close feeling particularly pleased with himself. In the hall of mirrors, Julie almost laughed herself sick as Luke walked right into a glass wall, only to do the same thing moments later and the two of them found themselves sinking to the ground, breathless with giggles. 

“Hey look,” she tugged on his hand when they emerged outside once more. “Over there!”

Across the way, a small cherry-red photo booth had been set off to the side of the path. They headed straight for it and crammed themselves inside. Luke quickly found he had to force himself not to focus too hard on Julie’s warm breath against the skin of his neck in fear of his heartbeat actually becoming audible. His pulse could’ve bene a metronome at that point. The two of them cycled through every funny face they could think of blowing raspberries and sticking their tongues out, until the last picture when Julie took him by surprise. She planted a gentle kiss on his cheek as the camera flashed. 

That one was going in his wallet for sure.

As the night stretched on, Julie decided that she never wanted it to end. Date or not, she was having the time of her life exploring the Christmas explosion of the carnival with Luke. Shrieks of fear and laughter from the rides above them as they twisted erratically through the air in strange patterns. She felt high on sugar and glee. Earlier, Luke had bought them both large sticks of cotton candy claiming it wouldn’t be a real carnival without it – he was right. 

Despite her previous nerves, the night was like any other that she’d spent with Luke only with the added fun of watching him slide sideways off a horse on the carousel. They faced off in several games, growing more and more competitive with everyone. After a game of throwing hoops, Julie found herself crowing relentlessly when she won a small stuffed bear. She handed it to him with a smirk.

“Consolation prize?” she offered.

“Haha,” Luke said dryly, but he took the bear with a smile.

When it came to the rides, Luke's eyes shone with childlike excitement. It was difficult not to get caught up in it — he leaked emotion like an overflowing river, sweeping everybody else along with him, his heart on his sleeve. At one point, Julie was struck by the vague thought that it would be nice to spend every day like this. Luke’s approach to the world made it a little brighter – he made the dark a little more tolerable. It was awesome.

By the time they had to leave she felt like a kid herself. Exhausted and sugar-drunk, but disappointed to go and dragging her feet all the same. They were weight down with little paper bags full of cookies and handcrafted art pieces she knew her mom would like for the house. Would it be too much to ask if he wanted to go back again soon? They could take the rest of the group next time. Reggie and Flynn would’ve liked the dodgems. Alex and Willie could’ve snuck off to have their own Ferris wheel ride.

Yeah, she could spend every day like this. Especially if it always ended up in Luke taking her hand.

The world seemed too quiet after the bright lights and excitement of the carnival. Luke clutched Julie’s hand tight as they drew closer to their houses, feeling reluctant to let her go. They came to a halt between the two, shuffling their feet and lingering as the cold air did. Silence hung thick between them. Somebody had taken the liberty of decorating the tree between their windows with red and gold ribbons, tinsel, and a rainbow of colourful lights that Luke had been careful not to dislodge any time he climbed through the branches. It twinkled above them now like something out of a fairytale. 

“I had a really good time tonight,” Julie said in a rush at the same time as Luke said,

“We should do that again sometime.”

They both chuckled, the tension dissipated, and he took a tentative step towards her. There was one more thing Luke had noticed in the tree one his adventures down it over the past week. Twisted into the protruding twigs, barely concealed by the rest of the decorations, was a small burst of life – a spring of something green which hung down, sure to trap any unsuspecting teenagers who ended up standing beneath it.

The little plant twisted around the branch above them, its little white berries stark and obvious against the skeletal tree. He glanced up at it. Julie’s eyes followed his gaze. 

“Mistletoe,” was all she said.

There was a moment, one pure, terrifying, moment where Luke thought she was going to step away, but then she looked at him and tilted her head back just so. 

“Merry Christmas, Luke,” she murmured.

“Merry Christmas, Julie,” he whispered in return.

The warmth of their breath mingled in the air between them. She was so close that he could feel the very edges of her lips brushing his. Heart thudding, he slipped his hand into hers and closed his eyes. One more inch and the empty space which separated them would be lost no going back.

**_Crunch._ **

They jerked apart as a footstep broke through the silence and, just like that, the moment was broken. Julie took a step back, expression unreadable, and dropped Luke’s hand. The absence of heat made his fingers feel frostbitten.

“Julie?” called a voice from around the corner. “Are you out here?”

She frowned, peering around Luke towards the Molinas’ porch in confusion.

“Nick? What are you doing out here?”

Nick was on the shorter side, with long blonde hair and a sweet smile. He gave off boy-next-door vibes, wearing his little lacrosse jacket and clutching a glittering red box in his hands, and Luke imagined he was exactly the kind of person girls would fawn over. It wouldn’t have been a surprise if half of Julie’s grade were crushing on him. 

“I came by to drop off your present,” Nick explained, eyes flicking between them both curiously. “Since I didn’t get to give it to you at school.”

“Oh, Nick,” Julie looked flustered. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Jealousy flared in Luke’s chest and a little green monster stomped its feet inside of him at the sight. Nick looked sheepish but pleased. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, which fell forward into his eyes in a manner that could only be described as ‘endearing’, and Luke fought back the urge to throttle him. 

It might not have been fair, given that Nick was probably a perfectly nice kid and hadn’t actually done anything to actually deserve being throttled, but at that moment the image of recreating a classic Homer and Bart Simpson choke-a-thon with Luke’s hands around his neck, his eyes popping out and tongue flailing, was an amusing one. 

He took a deep breath. This wasn’t a cartoon, he reminded himself. If he did that in real life he’d go to jail for murder. Pretty girls and petty feelings did not make good defence cases in court. 

“Am I interrupting?” Nick asked. “‘Cause I can come back another time…”

Yes, go away, Luke thought uncharitably. But Julie shook her head.

“We were just about to head inside anyway,” she said, heading for the house as Nick smiled. “You want some hot chocolate?”

Luke had to stop himself from hanging back and repeatedly banging his head on the tree. 

*******

The holidays wound on and Julie found herself caught up in the frenzy of them. There was present shopping to do and a multitude of family game nights to get through, and in between it all she found a good chunk of her time taken up by the small group of gremlins that had moved into their garage called _Sunset Curve_ (she’d already made several jokes to her mom about not feeding them after midnight).

“Oh, God,” Luke groaned, dropping his head into his arms. “Not this song.”

They were sprawled out on the living room floor, watching The Grinch and threading popcorn onto long pieces of string for her parents. Or they were meant to be, anyway. She was pretty sure they’d eaten more than they’d actually used to craft.

“Mariah Carey is a _queen_ ,” Julie insisted and turned the radio up. _“I just want you for my own! More than you could ever know!”_

Reggie’s head appeared around the doorway and he warbled cheerfully along with Julie at the top of his lungs. 

_“Make my wish come true! Baby, all I want for Christmas is you!”_

They were at the house almost as much as Willie these days. All four of them would stand out in the yard with Carlos, even with the icy chill in the air, throwing a ball back and forth as though they were a collection of fathers and their one son bonding in a daytime television movie. As requested by her mom, Luke had taken to fixing the porch light when it began flickering or tightening loose boards on the porch or any other job he could get his hands on. It was kind of funny how willing he was to help out. It didn’t matter how often Julie’s mom insisted it wasn’t actually necessary or that she liked the boys being around and they didn’t owe the family anything. And it wasn’t just Luke – Reggie, Alex and Bobby would appear on odd days with random selections of tools and paint. Half the time her mom would take over the actual work with a fond chuckle and usher them inside to eat. 

It was pretty nice, how much they were starting to feel like family. It had seemed to rekindle something in the Molina family that she hadn’t seen for a long time. The stress of hospital visits and bills was finally beginning to fall away. Julie had even walked into the studio one evening to find her mom at the piano, something which had been a rare sight over the past year or so. _Carol Of The Bells_ had never sounded so good.

“I hate you both,” Luke complained without any real bite. 

They just sang louder. 

“Hey, where’s Alex?” Julie asked once the song had ended and Reggie had wandered in to sneak a handful of popcorn. “I thought he was coming over tonight too.”

The boys glanced at one another. Reggie cleared his throat.

“He’s… uh, busy. Doing things. And stuff. You know?”

He winked at Luke and Julie bit back a smile. Reggie never did know how to do subtlety. 

“Anyway, Luke,” he continued. “We’re like… almost ready to go on the _thing…_ you wanna…?”

She frowned, looking between them. They seemed to be having a very serious concentrated conversation with their eyes. Julie thought it just made them both look a little constipated if she was honest.

“Right, the thing,” Luke said at last. “Cool, you go on Reg and I’ll…”

Luke flapped a hand in Julie’s direction. What the hell was going on?”

“What are you up to?” she asked, narrowing her eyes as Reggie disappeared from the room once again. Luke grinned at her.

“I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“What is it?”

“Part of your Christmas present.”

She raised her eyebrows at him.

“Wait and see. C’mon,” he stood up and gesture for her to follow.

As soon as she did so, he stood behind her and slipped his hands over her eyes with a promise not to guide her into any lamps or walls. Julie stumbled along blindly and let Luke lead the way. She trusted him. Sort of.

“What’s going on?” came her dad’s voice from the hall.

“Luke’s showing me my Christmas present, apparently,” she replied.

“It’s a surprise,” Luke added.

“Oh, I see.”

A couple of seconds later, Luke brought her to a stop. 

"Ready?"

"Ready."

Luke dropped his hands from her eyes. A soft gasp caught in her throat. He had taken her into the kitchen and they had come to a halt facing the sink where the window overlooked the front yard. Outside, Los Angeles had gone missing. It had been replaced, instead, with a winter wonderland. White flakes were swirling through the cold air towards the ground. The edges of the glass had been covered in a thin frost as though it had been taken from the scene in a holiday movie. 

It was like magic.

"You got me snow," she whispered in awe. "You actually got me snow for Christmas. How did you–”

Luke shrugged nonchalantly, a mischievous smile dancing on his lips.

“I’m just a genius I guess.”

She thumped him, excitement taking over as she looked between him and the glittering white world outside.

"How did you do the windows?" Ray asked, peering at the glass in delight. 

"Frost in a can," Luke rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I hope it's okay... it cleans right off. I checked." 

Julie grabbed his hand and begun tugging him towards the door. She felt like a small child all of a sudden, a wave of dizzying delight coming over her, and did not even stop to grab a jacket.

“Well, come on,” she said. “Let’s go!”

Outside, the air was bitter but not freezing and the sky was clear. Perched on the ledge of the roof, a chunky machine was spitting out finely shaved ice across the lawn, whirring mechanically as it did so, and Julie’s smile widened. Of course, she’d _known_ it wasn’t really, but the confirmation didn’t diminish the magic at all. In fact, it made it better. 

“You’re insane,” she said, clutching his hand even tighter and beaming. “You’re totally insane, oh my god. You brought me _snow_.”

“I just… I remembered what you said,” he shrugged. “About wishing we lived somewhere colder.” 

“I love it. Oh, Luke. I _love_ it.”

She threw her arms around him, caught up in the unrealness of it all. He huffed out a laugh, his breath stirring the air by her ear. God, she could stay like that forever. If it wasn’t so cold, she might have held on longer. But then something dawned on her, and she drew back.

"But... how did you get it up there?"

Just then, a smiling face popped over the edge of the roof.

"Hey, Julie!"

"Reggie, oh my god!" she gasped. "What are you doing up there?! Get down. It's not safe!"

"Oh, it's okay," Reggie called back. "Alex is up here with me. He'll make sure I don't fall."

Alex's head appeared next to Reggie's. He grinned down at them. 

"What's up, Julie!"

“Oh my God,” she groaned. And Luke just laughed.

Julie lay awake that night staring at her ceiling. Luke had actually brought her snow for Christmas – she couldn’t believe it. Who did that?! 

All the feelings that she had been fighting so hard to keep a lid on had broken free of their constraints and were now roaming freely around her mind and body like wild animals. She had been trying not to get her hopes up. Luke was a lot of things, but predictable wasn’t one of them. Julie didn’t want to lead herself to believe one thing and find out she was wrong… she didn’t think she could take the hurt. But the last week had been a whirlwind. Maybe Flynn was right, maybe it was obvious in the way he looked at her. They had almost kissed the other night under the mistletoe, after all. If Nick hadn’t shown up, then maybe…

He had brought her _snow_ for Christmas. And she was falling dizzyingly, terrifyingly in love.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

Helios was alive with mischievous energy. They shouldn’t have been able to get in, Julie thought. No matter how elegantly they did their makeup, none of the girls other than Carrie really looked over twenty-one, and the fake IDs that Bobby had slipped them couldn’t have been more obvious. They worked though. And the bouncers outside turned a blind eye as they ushered them in – it was weird to have their names on a list. 

None of them had ever been in a club before, let alone one like this with its grimy bathrooms covered in stickers and graffiti signatures, and a floor that could take your shoe clean off with how sticky it was. She felt out of place and unable to shake the feeling that they stuck out like a sore thumb because, in spite of the general grubbiness, it was packed and the people here were nothing like Julie and her friends at all.

There was a whole lot of dyed hair and more piercings than she could count. She found herself envying the style of a nearby group of girls who had fishnets on under their band tees and rips in their jeans. Everybody here looked so comfortable in their own skin. It was like a room full of Lukes.

“Wow, it’s so busy,” said Kayla, pressing in closer to her friends. “I thought it would be smaller.”

Julie had too. It was actually kind of intimidating. The band had gotten the call just a week earlier – a message left at Bobby’s by a tired sounding booking agent. He’d made everyone come over to listen to it. Luke had looked like he was going to explode from joy. _Helios_ wanted them to play a show. _Helios_ wanted _them._

None of their friends was the least bit surprised.

The girls fought their way across the floor using their elbows, Flynn’s exceptional hollering skills and Carrie’s disgusted expression. Julie fought back a laugh when she glared at a couple of guys until they moved away from one of the tall tables off to the side and allowed them to slide on in. Julie scanned the crowd. There were one or two people she recognised here from other shows, a couple of classmates too, but it was largely a sea of unfamiliar punks and grunge kids in oversized plaid. She picked at the hem of her dress. Maybe she should’ve worn her cargo pants. Note that for next time, she thought.

The crowd was restless with energy. It shifted from side to side, bustling as people moved between the bar and the floor in front of the stage. Every time someone came out to check the equipment, there was an uptick in interested murmurs. For the moment, the entertainment was relegated to the drone of Nine Inch Nails through the overhead speakers.

When the boys finally came out, Julie and Kayla slipped in the crowd and left the other two to guard their bags and drinks at the table. Carrie looked all too happy to avoid rubbing elbows with the large cluster of sweating men. 

“Hey guys,” Luke said, fiddling with the mic. “We’re Sunset Curve.”

“Tell your friends!” Reggie chirped, and they launched into song.

 _Sunset Curve_ played like men possessed. Julie had seen them perform before, but that was at parties and small local bars frequented by teenagers and families, it was nothing like this. The patrons of _Helios_ were the kind of audience the band had been made for. Here, they fit in. Here, they were at home.

“They’re amazing!” Kayla shouted over the din, grabbing Julie’s hand and squeezing tight. 

“I know right!” Julie yelled back, but her words were drowned out by the squeal of Luke’s guitar.

His stage presence was insane. He threw himself about energetically, almost as though he’d die if he stopped moving. His excitement could be felt from the crowd and it infected everybody it touched. With every word the audience grew louder, a fair few people singing along in familiar delight, and Julie had a sudden glimpse of the future; this is how it was meant to be. This is what Luke had meant when he said he knew the band could make it. Sweat glistened across his skin, his hair sticking to his forehead, and his muscles flexed as he played harder and faster than she’d ever seen him. He was captivating. Beautiful.

She could understand why his mother worried, but if Mrs Patterson could see the look on her son’s face right now then maybe she would understand just how much he needed that guitar. 

A small pit opened up beside her – how they found the space on the floor for it Julie didn’t know. Soon she found herself jostled backwards, quick to duck out of the way of failing arms and avoid getting hit by the bodies being thrown around. Kayla stumbled sideways into her and the two of them retreated fast. It was safer to watch from the sidelines. From where she stood now, Julie could see a group of girls pressed up against the front of the stage singing along. They knew every word. One of them reached up and tugged at the hem of Luke’s shirt when he got closer enough, pulling him down as Reggie and Alex screamed out their parts of the chorus. He grinned at her as he played – an unbreakable connection. 

Julie looked away, throat tight. 

It was a relief to finally stumble outside into the fresh air. Her whole body ached and she felt as if she’d inhaled more stale sweat than anything else in the last half an hour. Though the crowd had been a little scary (her toes had been stepped on at least eight times) she’d had fun. She and Kayla had given in after the first ten minutes and joined in the chaos. It might not have been moshing exactly, but there was something freeing about throwing yourself around in a less than elegant dance for all to see.

The band’s van was parked around the back of the club with its doors already open and a group of guys were helping to heave Alex’s drum kit inside. They were to meet them out there and get pancakes or something after the show, according to Luke. Julie leaned heavily against the wall, listening to Flynn chug a bottle of water as she reached down to slip off her shoe and massage her foot. 

“Hey, Julie.”

Turning towards the source of the voice, her gaze fell on Ashley. She was straightening up by the van. A half-empty box full of t-shirts sat on the ground at her feet where another girl was kneeled, busy folding up the last couple. That twinge of envy was back – Ashley was just the kind of girl who could fit right in at a place like _Helios_. 

“Oh, hey,” Julie smiled, slightly taken aback. She honestly hadn’t thought Ashley would remember her – they’d only met once after all. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty good thanks, we actually sold some shirts tonight,” she nodded to the box. “Not a bad turn out either. Did you enjoy the show?”

“It was awesome… I need a nap now, though.”

The girl on the ground laughed, straightening up and wiping her hands off across her knees.

“Good luck with that,” she said. “The boys’ll definitely be fired up after that. Sleep is for the weak, or whatever it is Luke says. After parties all the way.”

“This is Leah,” Ashley gestured to her. “My girlfriend.”

Oh. _Oh_.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Julie said, swallowing her surprise and offering her a smile. 

“You too,” Leah replied easily. “Luke never shuts up about you. It’s good to put a name to the face.”

A blush crept across Julie’s face. Luke talked about her to his friends? A small part of her wanted to ask what he’d said, but the rest of her (the more reasonable part, she would argue) was mortified at the idea of sounding like a twelve-year-old asking about their crush.

She was saved from saying anything by the backdoor of the club bursting open once more and a gaggle of guys spilling out into the parking lot. Luke bounded towards the van looking like a golden retriever puppy who’d just been given a treat and headed straight for Julie. 

“So, what did you think?” he asked.

What did she think? She thought if Luke kept looking at her with that bright sparkle in his eye then she would give him anything in the world, and it was likely the case when everybody else saw him too. He could do whatever he wanted if he held onto that look. 

“You were amazing,” she said truthfully. 

Luke’s smile widened dopily as the rest of the band joined them. One by one, she and the girls showered them with hugs and compliments on the show. 

“Did Willie come with you?” Alex asked, looking around hopefully.

Julie shook her head apologetically.

“He couldn’t make it – too much stuff to finish for his exhibit. He told me to tell you he was sorry though, and good luck.”

“Oh.”

From the look on his face, Julie almost wished she could summon Willie to appear at a moment’s notice. She exchanged a glance with Luke, he looked as though he was thinking much the same. Earlier, when Willie had told her he wouldn’t be at the show, he hadn’t been able to look her in the eye. At the time she’d thought it was just his usual distraction, that he was thinking about where he’d skate next or the mural he was working on, but now…

She wondered.

Julie was too beautiful for her own good, Luke decided. Or for his own good… either worked. She was going to kill him one of these days. Walking out of the show, hyped up on adrenaline and euphoria, only to see her waiting for him was almost too much. Life felt too good to be true. 

They had never played a better show. It wasn’t the first time people had sung his own words back to him, but it was a new enough experience that the thrill of it still left him high on it. Every time it happened it felt like a promise of incredible things to come as if his dreams were only a hair’s breadth away. Success was so close that he could almost taste it. That feeling, however, paled in comparison to looking down into the crowd and seeing Julie there. 

He wanted her there for every show.

After the gig, there had been a flurry of excitement when Alex was counting up the money they’d earned from merch sales along with their cut from the show. The realisation that they had hit their goal for their recording sessions turned the night into a blur of celebration. Luke had felt like the euphoria of it would never end.

Well, it did. And it was frustrating, to say the least.

Luke sighed, letting his guitar drop down to his waist and turning around.

“You’re not focusing, dude!”

“I’m sorry,” Alex said, looking miserably.

It was the fourth time this practice that he’d messed up halfway through a song. The had been locked away in the garage every free hour they could for the past week trying to make sure they sounded the best they could. Bobby had already set up a recording schedule for them and they didn’t have much longer to get ready. They couldn’t afford to take too much time in the studio – every minute cost. They had to be the best they could be. Distractions were expensive.

But Alex’s head was in the clouds at the moment.

It was weird. Alex was never offbeat. Drumming was his lifeblood – he channelled all his stress and insecurities into it. Like the guitar did for Luke, the drums were what kept Alex alive through good and bad. He’d once told them it felt like therapy only better because he didn’t have to talk to anyone and he didn’t have his parents breathing down his neck about it. Seeing him distracted like this…

Luke didn’t know how to react.

He chanced a glance at Julie where she was lounging on the couch with a book in hand. She bit her lip and shrugged at him.

“Let’s go from the top,” he sighed, stepping back into position. “One, two, three, four…”

This time they made it thirty seconds in before a slip-up. Reggie’s bass twanged uncomfortably as Alex lost the beat. A surge of deep frustration pulsed through Luke and he fought back the childish urge to kick at his mic stand.

“You know what? Let’s just take a break,” he huffed, slinging off his guitar and putting it back on its stand as heavily as he could without risking damage. 

They couldn’t afford distractions.

They all watched Luke stalk from the room, a cloud of grey frustration following in his wake, and Alex stared down at the sticks in his hand. Julie placed her book to the side, startled by the sudden outburst but not surprised. There was a long moment of silence where she and Reggie stared at one another, both unsure how to react, and then Reggie slipped off his bass.

“I’ll go get us some hotdogs!” Reggie chirped.

Julie wondered if she should follow, maybe Alex needed some space… but he looked so sad, sitting there all defeated. No. She couldn’t leave him. Instead, she pushed herself to her feet and grabbed a stool, dragging it over to sit beside him and lean her head on his shoulder.

“You wanna talk about it?” she probed quietly.

He let out a long breath and they sat there for a moment before he rested his head on top of hers. It felt much like one of those many days when her mom had been sick and Julie could hardly cope with the sorrow of it – Flynn had been the one to rest her head on her shoulder then. It was what Alex needed now. After a couple of minutes, he finally mumbled something unintelligible.

“Sorry, what?” Julie asked.

He sighed, then raised his voice a little.

“I think I have feelings for Willie,” he admitted. “I mean… I _know_ I do. And I’m too scared to do anything about it.”

Julie didn’t know what to say. How did you explain to someone that you’ve been actively trying to help push their relationship along behind their back without sounding like a freak?

“If it helps, I’m pretty sure he likes you too,” she offered.

There was a pause. Alex finally looked at her, confusion written all over his face.

“You’re not weirded out?”

“Oh,” Julie said, then frowned. “No? Why would I be? You’re my friend, Alex. It doesn’t matter who you have a crush on.

She wondered if Carrie had told him that she’d been holding a torch for one of the cheerleaders since last summer. Or that she’d dated a girl from Santa Monica the year before. Probably. Carrie wouldn’t keep that to herself if she saw how Alex looked at Willie, but it wasn’t Julie’s place to say anything. Instead, she wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into a sidelong hug.

“You should talk to Willie,” she said. “I know he plays it cool a lot, but he’s probably a little bit scared too. If you tell him, then you can at least be scared together.”

He laughed weakly.

“That’s a good point. I just… I wish it was easier, you know?”

“It will get easier,” she rubbed a comforting hand up and down his back. “It has to.”

They sat there for a moment, mulling this over in the quiet, and then Alex let out a long sigh, forcing himself to smile. He lifted his head and looked down at her with a mischievous expression.

“So, what about you and Luke, huh?”

Julie feigned confusion, well aware that she wasn’t fooling anybody.

“What about us?”

“You guys are, you know,” he made a seesawing motion with his hand. “What’s that all about?”

Oh, if only she knew. If Julie could fathom what was going on in Luke’s head at any point in her lifetime it would be a miracle. The boy was a complete mystery. It was starting to drive her a little crazy.

“I don’t know, Alex,” she sighed. “Sometimes I think we’re getting really close, you know? Like something’s about to happen or one of us is gonna make a move and then it just… doesn’t. I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Hm… maybe you should talk about it,” he said slyly.

She punched him lightly as he laughed.

“I’m serious,” he continued, rubbing his arm. “You guys are obviously into each other.”

“...d’you think so?”

Do you think he likes me? She wanted to ask. Even after their night at the carnival, after the whirlwind of emotions it had kicked up, and that achingly sweet moment under the mistletoe, she still wasn’t sure. Wouldn’t he have done something about it by now if he was that serious about her? Her mind kept wandering back to the way he’d smiled at those fans in the crowd at _Helios_. It wasn’t ridiculous to worry about a cluster of strangers when she was the one who got to spend all her time with Luke, but she couldn’t quell that whispering anxiety. 

The thing about doubt was that it had this way of sneaking in unprompted. Every moment they remained an ‘ _almost’_ and not a ‘ _definite’_ , Julie found her imagination running wild. It seemed all those beautiful _almost_ moments were growing more and more distant. She thought back to the night of Carrie’s party. In the pool, there had been another of those moments, one precious, insane, second where she’d thought something might have been about to happen. Luke had leaned forward, he’d been looking at her lips, she’d thought maybe… maybe…

But then they’d been interrupted. She’d had plenty of time to convince herself she’d been dreaming it up afterwards. What if it was all just in her head? What if Luke only saw them as friends?

Alex scoffed.

“Luke _definitely_ likes you, Jules. He talks about you all the time. You’re like his favourite person in the entire world.”

“What if you’re wrong?”

“Pfft, I know me and the boys can be a little oblivious at times, but we’d have to be _blind_ not to see it. He’s crazy about you. Everyone knows it. I know it’s scary, but it’s like you said, he’s probably scared too. You just… you gotta be brave. Talk to him.”

Julie looked down at her feet, kicking them back and forth in the air. Hesitancy never got anyone anywhere, her mom had always said so. 

“Listen, I’ll make you a deal,” Alex suggested. “You talk to Luke and I’ll talk to Willie, alright?”

Well, if she couldn’t be brave for herself, then maybe she could be brave for her friend.

“Okay. Deal.”

  
  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

Life went on, but Julie couldn’t forget about her deal with Alex. This was mostly because he wouldn’t _let_ her forget about it and he’d told Carrie, who had told Flynn and Kayla, and they now appeared to be taking it in turns to bug the hell out of her whenever Luke came up in conversation (which was a _lot_ ). It didn’t help that since the guys had started hanging out at the house, the girls had joined in too and Julie found her one on one time with Luke virtually nonexistent. There was no comfortable way to spill your guts to the guy you liked while your best friends were making kissy faces behind his back every time you tried to talk to him alone.

She loved her friends, but sometimes she wanted to kill them. 

“So I picked up Cola and Snapple,” Flynn huffed, holding out the choices to Julie. “Don’t make me go back in that kitchen. There were like eight kinds of soda in there. I don’t have enough arms, plus I’m pretty sure Carrie’s burning those nachos. It smells _bad._ ”

From beneath a pile of cushions, there was a squawk of indignance and Luke burst out, sprinting for the kitchen to save his beloved nachos. Julie took the Snapple with a laugh.

“Who needs the fire department when we have Luke?”

It was a Saturday night, the first that the boys had been free from shows in a couple of weeks, and everybody had gathered in the Molinas’ front room for a sleepover. After much debate over what to watch (and a small wrestling match between Luke and Bobby in the aisles of Blockbuster) they’d rented Jurassic Park on video and headed back to the house with their arms laden with snacks from 7-Eleven. Julie had made sure to grab double the amount this time – Reggie would eat his weight in M&Ms when things got tense on-screen. When they’d returned to the house, Reggie and Luke had spent a good half an hour, with the assistance of Carlos (of course), building an elaborate fort made out of blankets which they’d dubbed the ‘Popcorn Palace’. Julie and Bobby had made fun of them for approximately ten minutes before deciding they actually wanted some of the popcorn and crawling inside. 

It was pretty nice actually. Julie felt like a kid all over again. A bubble of nostalgia welled up inside of her as Carrie and Luke came into the living room, still squabbling over the smoking remains of the microwaved chips, and everyone began to settle in. Willie showed up not long after, beaming when he spotted, and Alex sat up looking flustered. A mess of marshmallows popped out of his mouth and cascaded down his shirt – Luke and Bobby had been seeing how many he could fit in there.

“I got those photos developed from the other week,” Kayla announced as she entered the room. 

She was waving a thick Walgreens envelope. Reggie immediately hopped to his feet in delight. The others followed eagerly, crowding around as she pulled out the pictures. One of Julie’s favourite things about Kayla was her tendency to carry cameras around; she had a Polaroid she’d bring out for special occasions, but there always seemed to be a disposable camera in her purse. Her prints littered their bedroom walls with memories. They settled back into the room, flicking through them and laughing at particularly terrible ones. As cute as Luke was, photogenic was not a word anybody could use to describe him – they had so many candids of his face twisted in odd angles. A happy warmth spread through her as she took in the room around her. This was the best way to spend the weekend, she thought, surrounded by her family.

On the floor, Willie lay with his head on Alex’s lap and she watched as Alex ran his fingers carefully through his soft locks of hair over and over. Envy curdled in Julie’s chest. She glanced over at Luke. They would have to talk about it at some point, but not right now. They could wait a while. She needed a little bit of time before she shattered the peace.

Every moment they got further into the new year, the more convinced Luke became was that his life had turned into a fairytale story. It had been a long time since he’d had a sleepover that wasn’t a direct result of a fight with somebody’s parents, holing up on a friend of a friend’s couch and complaining to Reggie about life. Spending the holidays snuggled up with his friends under a fort made of blankets? Now _that_ , he had discovered recently, was the perfect kind of Christmas. The only problem was that it had to end at some point. Every time they packed up and went home it left him a little hollowed out, all the lonely silences that had been filled by the laughter of loved ones returned in full force and left Luke alone with his worries.

On the flip side, he was finding the more time he spent with his friends the fewer worries he had. Standing on the porch the morning after their sleepover (Luke had woken up to find Julie’s arm slung across his chest, and he was still riding the high of it) he and Julie watched from afar as Willie enveloped Alex in a hug. Luke had always worried about his best friend – being gay in a world where people thought the worst of it sounded terrifying. He and his bandmates had always fought to make sure that he knew he had a family, someone to go to, a home. Now, with Willie and the girls, and the entire Molina family… Alex had more space to breathe. 

_He’s gonna be okay_ , Luke thought. And the weight on his lungs lessened a little too.

There was only so long it could be put off and Julie knew that. The heaviness of everything left unsaid between her and Luke was turning to awkwardness with every passing day. It had been almost three weeks. Give it another and the almost-kiss would be left in the past to fade away. The concept was too terrible to bear, so she was taking matters into her own hands. Today was the day!

Probably.

Maybe.

No! _Definitely._ Get a grip, woman. 

Steeling herself, she pushed the door open to the studio. Luke was on the couch, guitar in his lap and song journal on his knee, chewing on a pick absentmindedly as he plucked out a small melody then scribbled it down. She hung in the doorway for a moment watching him, unaware of the small smile playing on her own lips. Luke was beautiful like this, all frowning concentration and skill. It had become a more and more common sight lately, especially since they’d started writing together.

It had been an accident at first. Luke had come into the garage one morning to find Julie at the piano staring at a stack of music sheets.

“What’s that?” he’d asked, peering over her shoulder.

“Oh… nothing,” Julie had replied. “Just a song I’m working on.”

“Wow, another Julie Molina masterpiece, huh? Can I hear it?”

“It’s not finished yet,” she’d sighed in annoyance – more at herself than anything. “I keep getting stuck with this one bit.”

She’d played it through for a moment, clunking down heavily on the keys when she reached the part which tripped her up. Easy as breathing, Luke had slid onto the stool beside her and leaned forward to peer at the sheets. 

“What about…”

And he’d played a jaunty little bridge that fixed the whole thing.

There was something about writing with Luke that just made the words flow freely. Just the mere act of being around him opened up her soul. They would sit in the studio for hours together filling page after page with lyrics and melodies. Sometimes he would show her new _Sunset Curve_ songs, letting her throw out fresh ideas to spruce them up, and other times, with some gentle needling, he’d give her a glance of the more personal songs he’d written for himself rather than the band. In return, she allowed him to rustle through the notes she often slipped into the little box kept in her bedroom filled with dreams and poetry, which he would take to turn into lyrics. 

It was amazing, but half-maddening all the same. They sat side by side to write, usually closer than need be. With everything fleeting touch, every secretive shared glance, every moment that his eyes lingered on her lips Julie felt her heart yearn for more. Longing became a familiar sensation when they were together. They still hadn’t talked about it.

Julie was determined to change that today. She cleared her throat and stepped into the room.

Luke loved the Molinas’ studio. It was quickly becoming his favourite place in the whole world. The boys spent most of their time there now, their instruments having been given a permanent home, and Julie’s mom had picked up music again, much to the delight of everybody around her. Sitting on the couch on cold evenings, snuggled beside Julie as she knit, the two of them got to listen to Mrs Molina brush off the rust, which (if he was totally honest) there wasn’t a lot of anyway. As it was with Julie, the piano was second nature for her. Songs came with ease, flowing from her like a light, and Luke found himself looking to the future hoping he could be like her one day. 

The studio was becoming a second home.

He was alone there when Julie came in. She walked through the door looking lovely as usual and cleared her throat with a smile. All focus was immediately driven from Luke’s mind.

“Hey can we talk?” she asked from the doorway.

“Sure,” Luke put the journal down and looked up at her. “What’s up?”

“I think we should…” she started, then stopped to think. “I think we need to talk about _us._ ”

Luke’s heart missed a beat. Julie’s tone was impossible to determine. What did she mean by _‘us’_? Did she mean she wanted to talk about their friendship? Or was she going to tell Luke to get lost? He pushed back those thoughts, but one lingered. Maybe, just maybe she wanted to talk about the unacknowledged elephant in the room…

 _Mistletoe_ , he thought. _Mistletoe and swimming pools._

There were multiple reasons it wasn’t a good idea, Luke had decided. Nick’s interruption the other night had brought him startlingly to his senses. For one, Julie was his _friend_. The closer they had gotten to _something different_ the more unwilling he became to let anything ruin that. In a few short months, she had become an irreplaceable part of his life. What would he do without her? She was a blessing he couldn’t afford to lose.

And another thing, her friends were his friends now – vice versa. If things went wrong that would make it awkward for everybody. Did he really want to risk the group dynamic like that? Things had been so much better since they’d all started hanging out.

Then there was the final problem... she might not feel the same. If she didn’t, then he wasn’t sure he’d recover. He had seen her face the night Nick showed up with that gift, the way she pulled away from him as if she realised what a mistake she was making. What he felt for Julie was all-encompassing. She knocked him off his feet. He couldn’t take a blow like rejection from her – he wouldn’t get up again.

But in spite of all of this, these reasons that ran rampant around his mind, he still found that he couldn’t quite bring himself to sit quietly and let his chances pass him by. That wasn’t how he’d ever operated. And as much as that nasty little voice of rejection whispered in his mind that she’d pulled back, he couldn’t help but hope... 

Because she’d stepped forward, too. 

There was a distant banging from the house. He glanced at the door. They couldn’t do this here. The studio was prone to invasion from bandmates and bored little brothers – privacy was a longshot. And he _knew_ privacy was what they needed right now. With a sigh, he slipped his guitar strap over his head and set the instrument aside. 

“Before you say anything, can I show you something?”

The water lapped at the silence with its gentle waves. Wrapped in a knit blanket and a large sweater she’d stolen from Luke, Julie settled back to stare out at the darkness. Where the ocean met the sky they became one in the distance, wine-dark and glistening in the moonlight. The only thing which kept them separate to her eye was the soft smudge of white which drifted above them in the form of a single cloud. She could see why Luke loved it out here. Hidden away under the pier it was so tranquil that they might as well have stepped out into a different universe. It had taken a long bus ride out to Santa Monica, Luke dodging every question she asked along the way, but she had to admit that the wait was worth it.

“How often do you come out here?” she asked.

Luke shrugged. 

“Just whenever I need some space to clear my head, y’know? I’ve slept out here a couple of times.”

“Out here?” she couldn’t mask the horror in her voice, but he just gave her a lopsided grin in response.

“It’s not so bad in the summer,” he said. “Gets dark late and light early. It’s warm. No one ever bothered me before.”

Julie bit at her lip, the mental image of Luke lying unaware and vulnerable in the sand tempting her anxieties out of their hiding holes, but forced herself to put that aside for a later conversation. Now wasn’t the time. 

“It’s perfect.”

Luke shuffled closer, bringing a blanketed arm around her shoulders and offering an extra layer of warmth as she rested her head against him. It was no lie – the night was perfect. They could talk freely out here. Just the two of them and the ocean, no interruptions. It had been a while since they’d hung out without their friends and without a pile of notes or instruments between them.

“You can’t tell anyone,” he warned.

“Our little secret,” she smiled. “I promise.”

When Luke held her, she felt safe. There was no denying it. But even so, at the same time, it was totally exhilarating. 

“So what did you wanna talk about?”

Hm. Where to start? Julie had a million questions, all regarding feelings (which, if she was honest, Luke was not the best at opening up about) and no idea how to word them. They had been dancing around this… _thing_ for so long now she was ready to crack. What were they waiting for? A sign from above telling them that it was a good idea? Who had the time for that? It was best just to have an honest conversation and let it all out.

“Crooked Teeth is about Reggie, isn’t it?”

Okay, so maybe she chickened out a little. Big deal.

There was a pause. Luke snorted.

“ _That’s_ what you wanted to talk about?”

“...no,” she sighed, pulling back a little to sit up. Deep breaths, Julie, you can do this. Summoning all of her courage, she looked him in the eye.

“You do know I’m not into Nick, right?” she blurted. “Like… he’s just my friend.”

Luke looked taken aback for a moment, brow furrowing in confusion.

“Um, okay?”

“I’m saying this only because…”

Deep breaths.

“...because I thought maybe, you know that night under the mistletoe, that you were going to kiss me? And then Nick showed up, and you got kinda weird, and I just… yeah. I wanted you to know. Me and Nick are just friends.”

“Oh.”

Oh? _Oh?_ Didn’t he have anything else to say? Panic rocked her.

“I mean, maybe I read it wrong and you weren’t going to kiss me, but it really seemed like… I mean there was that time in Carrie’s pool, too, remember? I don’t know. Am I going crazy?”

“Jules–”

“Because if I’m going crazy you can totally stop me right here–”

“Jules.”

“–I _feel_ like I’m going crazy I mean you never even mentioned it again–”

Julie’s ramble came to a startling end as Luke gave a loud sigh, leaned forward and finally… he kissed her.


	14. Chapter 14

When Julie kissed him, everything slowed to a still. The whole world disappeared around them. Luke felt his brain short-circuit for a moment, one moment of terrified hesitation before it kicked back into gear and he was winding his arms tighter around Julie and pulling her in close. The smell of her perfume overwhelmed him, the taste of her lips confused his thoughts and the sensation of her warm skin against him had set him adrift. She was intoxicating. 

It was perfect.

He relived that moment over and over the following day. The memory of her lips touching his came on double when he woke up and looked out the window half hoping to see her on the other side of the glass, but Julie’s curtains were still closed. However, something was waiting for him outside on the ledge. He peered closer, rolling out from his cocoon of blankets to investigate, then found himself hurrying to push the window open. It was a CD case. Colourful doodles of guitars and musical notes decorated a handmade cover on the inside.

**_‘Julie & Luke’s Study Session Mix’_ **

Laughing in delight, he flipped the case open to look at the tracklisting. Her looping handwriting had blocked each song out with care across the back. A bunch of his favourites were on there alongside Julie’s; _Pearl Jam, Soundgarden,_ and _Nirvana_. _TLC, No Doubt,_ and _Shaggy_. He felt like he’d slept with a hanger in his mouth, his smile was so wide. In the corner, she had drawn a little caricature cartoon scene of them where Luke was leaned back on his chair, a speech bubble from his mouth surrounding the song titles as if he were talking about the bands, and she looked long-suffering. 

It was the nicest gift anyone had ever given him. God, what had he ever done to deserve someone so amazing as her? 

Carefully, Luke slipped the CD into his stereo and clicked play. Leaning back with a happy sigh, he let the sound of _State Of Love And Trust_ wash over him and daydreamed about Julie in his arms.

Julie was losing her mind and it was all Luke’s fault. So far tonight, she had already had to re-read the paragraph in front of her three times over. She kept losing her place halfway through. One second, she would be following a perfectly rational train of thought about the significant themes of _Romeo And Juliet_ or mentally planning her homework as she scribbled hasty notes into her notepad and the next she would find herself preoccupied with the imaginary curve of Luke’s bicep under her hand, or the mellow tones of his singing voice, or the way his hair stuck out from under his favourite orange beanie. His lips on hers, the warmth of his arms, the secrets they had shared on the beach together. The list was endless and it was infuriating. Never had she had so much trouble focusing in class before. Honestly, she thought, she had better things to do than spend all of her time thinking about a guy.

A really cute guy. A really cute guy who spent an awful lot of time making her laugh so hard that her ribs ached from it.

Goddamnit. Emotions should be illegal.

“Julie, are you listening?”

Julie’s head jerked up in surprise and she found herself face to face with her English teacher, Miss Gomez, who was looking at her with a raised eyebrow from beside her desk. Several of her classmates sniggered around her. A hot blush crept across her cheeks.

“Yes, sorry,” she muttered.

“Mhm,” Miss Gomez hummed disbelievingly as she slipped a couple of marked pages onto Julie’s desk. “Not up to your usual standard. I expected more from you on this one. If you’re struggling with the material, please come and talk to me after class.”

She moved on and left Julie staring down at the paper in front of her. It was her latest assignment – an essay she’d ended up rushing because she had plans with Luke and the gang to go to the movies. 

The large red **D** stared up at her in distaste.

A D? She had never gotten worse than a ‘B’ in this class. English was her forte and, aside from music, it was her best class. How the hell had she ended up with a D? Miserably, she grabbed the papers and stuffed them into her bag before anyone else could see. What was she going to do? This was going to pull her whole grade average down. Could she ask for extra credit? Surely Miss Gome would be open to it, but when would she have the time? Her schedule was booked solid for the next two weeks. Even tonight. Everybody was meant to be meeting up later; Willie’s mural was finally being revealed at the community centre. He had a whole exhibit, actually, they’d asked him and several other of the artists working down there to create smaller pieces for. Julie’s parents had been thrilled when he’d invited them (as if he wouldn’t have – they had drawings he’d done pinned up on the refrigerator). It was a whole thing.

She was screwed. How had she let herself get so distracted?

“Hey, guys,” Luke called cheerfully as he slipped in the front door.

He’d been out to the record store. If Julie was going to give him something as great as a mixed CD then he _had_ to find something to give her in return. There had been a pretty rare marbled copy of Fleetwood Mac’s _Rumours_ sitting high up on the expensive shelves of the record store for a while now and he knew she had her eye on it. Well, he might not have a lot of cash to spare right now, especially since they were putting everything they had into recording their demon, but he could be pretty determined when he wanted. As it stood, he’d managed to convince the owner of the store – a grumpy old dude with the _coolest_ tattoo sleeves Luke had ever seen – to give him a job and pay off the record with his labour. It probably wasn’t the most legal employment situation, but hey? Who cared? It meant he got to spend his free time surrounded by records and he got to give Julie a wicked sweet gift.

He was about to tell his parents as much (leaving out the part where Sunset Curve was recording a demo, _obviously)_ when he turned the corner to the kitchen to find both of them sitting at the table with seriously grave expressions on their faces. A local newspaper was laid out in front of them open to the entertainment section. His heart sunk at once. Oh _shit._

“Luke,” said his dad. “Sit down, please.”

It felt like he was marching to his grave, as dramatic as that sounded. Wincing at the atmosphere of disapproval, he pulled out a chair and sat. 

“I can explain,” he started.

“We don’t want to hear it,” his mom stopped him. “You lied to us, Luke. We trusted you and you’ve been lying to us.”

 **‘Local Rising Stars,** **Sunset Curve, Wow The Crowd At Helios’**. It was only a small headline in a fluff piece about up and coming artists in the area, but the band had been pretty excited about it. A bright picture of them had been placed underneath, Luke front and centre all sweaty and grinning in the middle of the gig. More people had started showing up to their little shows after it was printed. People knew the words to their songs now. Luke had thought it was awesome at the time, now he wanted to pick it up and burn it with the weight of his mom’s disappointment. The copy was only a couple of weeks old, but he still had no idea how they’d found it. It wasn’t their usual reading material. He suspected one of their neighbours had raised the issue. God, why couldn’t some people just keep their noses out of things? 

“I didn’t technically lie…”

“You told us you were studying with Julie!” 

“I was!”

“This isn’t studying,” she picked up the paper and waved it at him. “You’re not even old enough to be in a bar like this, Luke! You told us you were sleeping at Alex’s that night.”

“I mean, that bit was true.”

If looks could kill, the glare she levelled him with would have put him six feet under.

“I’m tired of this, Luke. We’ve worked so hard to try and give you a bright future. I thought we were making progress, I thought you were done lying to us and sneaking around. I’m tired of you letting us down like this.”

Irritation began to build up inside of him. “Mom I’m not–”

“I don’t want excuses!” she interrupted, shrilly. “I just want you to start making an effort. You spend all your time goofing off and making fools out of us. What are you going to do with your life if you carry on this way?”

“I’m only seventeen! I’m not supposed to know what I’m doing,” he argued. “God, you’re always pushing so hard and you never actually listen. Have you ever thought about asking me what _I_ want? I did it your way. I studied. I’ve been getting good grades. I’m back on track to graduate and you were fine with that until you found out I’ve been with the band too! What is your _deal_?”

“My deal?” she asked, affronted. “My deal is that you _lied,_ Luke. And you broke the law. This band obviously isn’t a good influence on you–”

“How would you know? You don’t know anything about us!”

“I know enough!”

His dad cleared his throat, trying to play mediator. “Okay, look, maybe we should all take a breather and calm–”

“No, Mitch. Luke needs to learn some accountability. We can’t keep letting him off so easy.”

“Letting me off?!” Luke cried in disbelief. “Letting me _off?_ You’ve never let me off easy. You’ve been on my back about this from day one–”

“Well, maybe we wouldn’t be if I hadn’t had the police knock on my door in the middle of the night more than once because you can’t learn to behave yourself!”

They had had fights before, bad ones that shook the house and left Luke feeling drained beyond belief, but even as the words left his mouth he knew this was the beginning of the biggest one yet. There was no going back. He was too pissed.

“Fuck that!” he stood up, almost knocking the chair over, and bright his fists down on the table. “So I’ve made mistakes, that’s what teenagers do. You know what? I’m sorry that I can’t be perfect like Julie is. I’m sorry that you didn’t get the perfect son you wanted. And I’m sorry that I’m a disappointment to you! But that’s _never_ gonna change because it’s impossible to live up to your insanely high standards!”

His mother stood too, waving her arms in distress, face coloured red with anger. “I don’t think it’s too much to ask that my son actually tells me the truth!”

“How am I supposed to do that, mom, huh?! How am I supposed to tell you anything when all you do is rag on me and my friends? I told you I wanted to be a musician and you told me it’s not realistic! Now the proof is in front of you that I can do it and you’re yelling at me about it! I can’t tell you anything! You don’t understand anything!”

“You think this is a future?!” she screamed, picking up the paper and waving it in his face. “This isn’t a future! Night clubs and drinking and drugs! You think I don’t know what goes on down at places like _Helios_? This is a way to end up–”

“Dead in a ditch or rehab, right?! I know! You’ve told me before. All the ‘evils’ of rock and roll. Like you really believe _that_. God, is it so hard to believe that maybe I can have a good life doing the thing I love? Not everyone wants to be stuck in a boring fucking office job regretting their whole life like you!”

“Luke!” his dad interjected looking shocked.

“No, I’m serious!” he continued, rage boiling over. “Why is music okay when I’m playing with Julie or at school, but outside of that it’s like this dangerous thing that’s gonna turn me into a fucking delinquent? Did you like overdose on after school specials or something as a kid, mom?!”

He had never spoken to his mom with such disrespect before. The words kept tumbling out, long after he wanted them to stop, fueled by spite and disappointment and _hurt_. The thing was, Luke had thought that maybe, just maybe, after the performance in the showcase and their support of him then, they might finally start understanding. That they might be _proud_.

It sucked to be so wrong.

“Music with Julie doesn’t involve sneaking into bars and underage drinking!” 

“I didn’t even drink that night!”

“Oh because _that’s_ comforting.”

She was looking at him with such scorn that Luke felt for a moment that he was watching the whole scene from the outside. Mother and son; the shattering. At that moment, a piece of him broke. He turned on his heel and this time he really did knock the chair clean over, sending it to the floor with a loud crash.

“Don’t you walk away from me right now!” his mom yelled, but he was already running. 

He still had his bag and his wallet, that was everything he needed, and he was out the front door in a shot. 

Luke never showed at the exhibit. Willie welcomed them all, arms wide open, his smile only getting brighter when Alex leaned in for a hug, but Luke wasn’t there for Julie to elbow gently and exchange a knowing look with over the scene. 

“Where is he?” she’d asked Reggie a little later, as they wandered quietly around the community centre’s large hall looking at the vibrant pieces that covered the walls.

Reggie had shrugged, a flash of concern tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“We thought he was coming with you,” he’d said.

That was all they said of it for the rest of the night. 

It wasn’t like Luke to bail. Sure, he’d been late to almost everything ever as long as Julie had known him, but that was fine. The only time he’d failed to show up was just before that disastrous fight… the one which had almost ended them before they began. _He’s probably just missed his bus_ , she tried to tell herself. _Or maybe he got the dates wrong._

He couldn’t have got the date wrong, though, and she knew it. They’d had a conversation about it just the night before. Horrible thoughts began to intrude with an edge of worry. What if he was avoiding her? What if he hadn’t enjoyed the kiss or worse… what if he regretted it? What if the CD had freaked him out?

Her head was a cacophony of fear. She tried to put it out of her mind, smiling half-heartedly when Willie appeared to offer her a glass of soda and laugh about the strange sculpture of a horse with human legs that one of his friends had made, but her train of thought kept coming back around in a vicious circle. Even worse, when it wasn’t focused on Luke it was focused on her English paper. What if all her grades were slipping like that?

“Hey, you okay?” Flynn asked, nudging her when she didn’t laugh at a joke one of Willi’s artist friends had told.

“What? Uh… oh, yeah. I’m fine,” she waved it off. “I’ve just got a little bit of a headache, actually? I might dip.”

Flynn frowned in concern. “Are you gonna be okay getting back by yourself?”

“It’s like two stops on the bus. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay…”

She felt a little guilty as she left, even when Willie assured her it was fine and that he’d steal a handful of snacks from the food table to bring home for her. It didn’t take long to get home – the buses nearby were fairly frequent and it was a quiet night. It was dark when she got back though, which explained why she didn’t see the figure emerging from around the side of the house at first.

“Hey.”

Julie swore loudly, almost jumping out of her skin as she spun around on the porch to find Luke standing there. He had his beanie pulled down low and his shoulders were drooped with exhaustion. He looked like hell.

“Hey,” she said softly, dropping the hand that was unlocking the door and stepping towards him. 

He stepped back almost immediately. Hurt flashed through her. Had she been right about the regret?

“Where were you?” she tried. “Everybody missed you at the exhibit.”

His brow furrowed in confusion. “The exh- oh _shit_.”

Annoyance was beginning to creep in. How could he have forgotten the exhibit? It was so important to Willie. Alex had been almost as excited as him. They’d been talking about it for weeks. Technically, it was meant to be a date. Julie had done her hair especially for it, not that it mattered now. It had gotten messed up on the way home.

“Yeah. Oh, shit is right,” she said, drily. 

She had thought he would at least have an excuse ready. A reason for flaking that made sense. Julie had been so caught up in _him_ that she’d failed a test but _he_ hadn’t even bothered to _remember_ the most basic plan. She folded her arms, looking at him expectantly.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I completely blanked. I’ll make it up to you.”

“It’s fine,’ she sighed, trying not to let the bitterness creep into her tone and muttering under her breath. “I don’t know what I expected.”

It had been a bad day all around, but this just felt like the tip of the iceberg. Wasn’t Luke meant to be a comfort after bad days? Not a further source of anxiety? God.

He frowned at her. “Hey, that’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it?” she asked. “‘Cause we made plans for tonight ages ago, Luke. We were all supposed to be there to support Willie. _You were supposed to be there._ You said you wouldn’t bail like this again.”

“I know, I just–”

A headache really was starting to form behind her eyes now, throbbing impatiently. “Save it. Look, I’m tired. I don’t wanna do this right now. Can we just talk this through in the morning?”

He opened his mouth as if to argue and then, after a second, closed it again. He folded his arms, closing himself off entirely, and Julie tried not to let the guilt get to her. They’d talk it over tomorrow like mature adults. It would be fine.

“Whatever,” he mumbled. “Forget it. I give up.”

Julie watched as he turned and walked away, her heart sinking.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [captainkippen](https://captainkippen.tumblr.com/).


End file.
